Thought of the Day: Is it just me, or does David Hussey look like the 'Stick Cricket' guy?

Stick Cricket Guy:


courtesy of stickcricket.com


David Hussey:



courtesy of heraldsun.com.au

Sign of the Times - App developers are ignoring the stay-at-home red neck market

Sign of the Times - you cant get much clearer direction than this

Thought of the Day: Cricket management (and marketing) is in the toilet (part I)

While following day 3 of the Boxing Day test between India and Australia on my beloved Cricinfo (you may also love it, but she is truly mine), I happened to notice the advertisements in the bottom right of the screen - see example below.



While I completely understand that advertising money transfer services to the Indian-Australian cricket following public makes sense, given the number of Indians in Australia who send money home & the number of Indians that follow cricket (approximately all of them), Im really unsure why advertising a Christmas catalogue 2 days after Christmas is a good idea or why cricket followers would be interested in health insurance.

Surely just another example of cricket struggling to manage and market itself effectively?

Question of the day: What is Nathan Lyon so surprised about?

Is it that David Warner was forced to stand in the back row, or that he doesn't have eyes?

Photo courtesy of Cricinfo / Getty Images

Sign of the Times - Ive been doing it long enough, about time I got my own department

Sign of the Times - I prefer the Science Diet

Overheard conversation of the day

Courtesy of the train to Epping.

Student 1: Can you help me with my homework?
Student 2: OK
Student 1: Question one is; what is a sacrament? Question two is; Explain what a sacrament is?

Question of the day: Why would the Rebellion 'hate to lose' Solo?

Stress makes people react in many different ways, some people turn to drink to deal with it, some seek out company for solace, while others take comfort in privacy.

At the start of Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back (or "Empire" to those of us who watch it as a comforting stress release), Han and Luke are wandering around on a freezing planet, looking for anything that may be a threat to them.

This in itself is a strange decision to take, I personally would have sent a droid out rather than sit around on a Ton-Ton in the freezing cold. If for no other reason than their smell, apparently they smell bad on the outside.

Also, Han and Luke are fairly senior members of the Rebellion at this point, so to send them into the cold on a planet that (apparently) suffers from a lot of meteors is hardly something to motivate junior members to succeed.

Regardless, Han heads back to the base and Luke goes to look at one of the aforementioned meteors before a Wampa knocks him out and eats his Ton-Ton.

Back at the base, Han tells his boss that he needs to leave because someone is trying to kill him for money. His boss tells Han that he "hates to lose him" but understands, which really should be a strange reaction to such a statement. I mean, do the Rebellion really expect to ever achieve anything if their management are all targets for assassination? Shouldn't they establish some employee assistance programme for dealing with death marks?

Regardless, after parting ways with his boss and picking a fight with his girlfriend, Han is about to leave when he finds out that Luke still hasnt come back. He then antagonises all of the other members of the Rebellion, even telling one that he'll "see you in hell!", before taking off to find Luke.

All of this paints the picture of a man that probably isnt management material, least of all someone to be in a position of responsibility, which leads to the question; Why does his boss hate to lose him? Is he just good in comparison with his peers, and if so, how bad could they possibly be?!

Thought of the Day: Think you life isnt going anywhere?

Go and get some passport photos done. Seriously.

Sign of the Times - Townsville Police agree with Rodney King

Sign of the Times - Best advertising placement ever

Question of the day: is this a warning or advice?

Question of the day: what the hell happened here?

Question of the day: what needs to happen to justify this post-it?

Sign of the Times - The Dees are having a really bad year

Now we are getting beaten by female tennis players.

Sign of the Times - the VFL hasn't been kind to Fev

Sign of the Times - perhaps your phone deal isn't real

Thought of the day (Day 1)

After Day 1 of the test between Australia and Sri Lankz in Galle, in which runs came at a premium as a reward to players willing to wait and grind them out, Australian journalists (and amateur bloggers) everywhere are celebrating the recent review of Cricket Australia.

Two of the biggest outcomes of said review was that selection and culture were missing, something many journalists and amateur observers had been noting and crying at CAs ivory tower for years. Indeed, for a country that takes sports administration hilariously seriously, CA had become not only the embarrassing relative who drops in at Christmas, but also the one that is tries to steal the kids presents (poorly). Even the English are better at administering cricket now, surely a fail in any ledger?

So while the unproven and inexperienced batsmen in the Australian squad failed to score more than 30 against ordinary spin on a tricky deck, not to mention some of the more experienced batsmen who are seemingly above reproach, Simon Katich sat at home planning a summer of domestic run scoring.

Yes, the same Simon Katich who has scored more runs, often in tricky conditions, than any other Australian over the last 3 years. Coincidentally, this is the same Simon Katich whose part-time leg spin has been mire than handy when utilized.

The expiry date for the current CA group is yet to be announced, but for some of us, it can't come soon enough.

Sign of the Times - Spelling unimportant in the recycling game

Sign of the Times - Queen are big in Thornbury

Top 5 - Observations from Adelaide

I had to visit Adelaide this week for work, which meant that my productivity decreased, while the productivity and employment levels in South Australia both increased.

I had only ever been to Adelaide twice before this, once to play football in 1995 and another time in 2001 when my flight from Hong Kong to Melbourne had engine trouble which forced us to land in Adelaide for 8 hours, so my memories of the place weren't that sharp or favourable.

Incidentally, that 8 hour waiting period was pretty ordinary; we were'nt allowed to leave the airport (as it was an international flight) so they stuck all the passengers in this tiny waiting room - possibly in an attempt to get rid of numbers through Co2 poisoning.

Still, while there are some very nice old buildings around the place, here are my top 5 observations:

5. The Goatee is alive and well - it's like 1993 all over the place in Adelaide, the goatee is still an accepted expression through the medium of facial hair.

4. Queue's - South Australian's really do queue a lot, and very well. Particularly for Busses. It's cute.

3. Taxi's know where they are going - Really, its true. Unlike Melbourne where you can usually only ask a driver to take you to their house with any sense of confidence.

2. Bizarre Service Standards - I was recommended to visit a rather nice restaurant in the city, which was an apparent award winner of some sort. My first waiter asked if I wanted to know the specials, which he was glad I said 'no' to as he then admitted he had forgotten them. The second waiter insisted on speaking Italian in one of the most hilarious accents I'd come across. The third was a lovely and capable American girl, who intrigued me as I was unsure how she found herself in this company. The last was a brash young knock-a-about who loved to say things like "canna potta", rather than "panna cotta". Bizarre.

1. Soccer fields - I'm not sure what is going on in SA, but there seems to be a soccer field for every man, woman and child. Perhaps they are doing the ground work to really make their name as the darling of the Australian Premier League? Surely I will be the one blushing when that day arrives.

Sign of the Times - I'm not taking my cat or shotgun to the snow anymore

Question of the day: why bother with the lock?

Sign of the Times - "Secret" seems to have lost its meaning

Photo courtesy of the GPS system in the Nissan Leaf

Thought of the Day: Trick to Masterchef? The Russian approach

It seems everyone is bloody well watching Masterchef, so not wanting to miss out, I tuned in to watch part of an episode in which all the contestants were working in teams to beat each other.

The most ridiculous part of this contest was the incentive; you could win the competition and go for a free meal (as opposed to all the other free meals the contestants eat), or you could lose and have an "elimination cook-off" against your team-mates (and stay in the competition if you win).

image courtesy of withamymac.com

This seems obvious to me, all you have to do is absolutely ruin your teams chances so all you have to do is then beat the worst cook in your team - and you advance!

Quote of the Day

"Yes, I overheard you talking to me"
- anon

Quote of the Day

"My back's about as stable as the Egyptian government at the moment, it's time for me to part ways with cricket" - Brett Geeves, retiring cricketer

(Source: ABC Radio)

Thought of the Day: Luke is a hard, hard bastard

In Star Wars Episode VI (or 6, for normal people), Luke Skywalker sends R2D2 and C3PO to Jabba's as gifts, to pre-empt his arrival and subsequent capture. Luke uses his opportunity at being captured to then free himself and his friends and get away safely (yay!).

The thing is, this entire escape effort is based on Jabba (and all his minions) standing on sailbarge's that explode once shot with a deck gun, which would kill them all and make a get away easier.

To do this, Luke needed to have C3PO ready on the sail-barge to shoot his light-saber at him, so that he could then start slicing people up, free his friends, kill all others and fly off to safety.

"Piece of piss"
(Photo courtesy of corruptcitizen.com)

To get his light saber to C3PO though, it meant getting C3PO installed as staff on Jabba's barge, which meant that he would somehow have to get the incumbent drink-serving droid fired (aka. disintegrated).

While I may have watched Episode V (or 5) more than twice, I don't remember the part in which Yoda teaches Luke to be a cunning and malicious bastard who makes plans that begin with innocent hard-working droids that serve drinks getting fired and tortured, before moving onto killing several flying ships worth of living beings.

Oh yeah, it also means that he intentionally gives his twin sister (who he did kiss) up to be Jabba's personal stripper too.

He is a hard, hard bastard.

Also, considering that Luke wanted to get captured the whole time, why did he try and shoot Jabba when they first meet? Did he also intend on falling into the pit, just so he could kill the Rancor?

If so, it means that Luke essentially went to Jabba's to kill not only Jabba, but all those close to him, including his pets.

Remind you of anyone?

Photo courtesy of adssuck.blogspot.com

Thought of the Day: People care who wins

Growing up in Melbourne in the 1980's was a fairly bleak time to be a follower of the Melbourne Football Club and/or Cricket.

The Melbourne Football Club (Go Dees) spent the early part of the decade getting thrashed regularly and sacked their prodigal son, Ron Barassi, after he returned to the club and tried to coach them into something resembling athletes. Things got a bit better later in the decade, with the side managing to make it to the Grand Final in 1988, only to get beaten by the then-record margin (96 points).

Similarly, Cricket gave little in the way of enjoyment as the Australian team strove through its rebuilding period like a turtle walks through cement. Further, there was little to celebrate about the Victorian side, with our state-team regularly taking out the attendance award and doing little else.

Still, sports were (and are) a major part of the culture and you couldn't do much to avoid it, you simply learned who your teams were and you stuck with them.

Which brings us to today. Cricket Australia has recently announced a re-structure of the Twenty20 league, the Big Bash League (or BBL), with new teams to be established that aren't aligned with the State system.

This seems fundamentally flawed, even for Cricket Australia.

Firstly, the premier domestic league should serve to best support the national team, specifically the Test team. Establishing a series of franchises whose goal is to sell broadcasting seems to be directly opposed to this and will surely hurt Cricket in Australia in the long-term, much in the same way that dropping your best batsman will.

Secondly, the way the league has been established seems to be out of synch with the International Schedule. This means players won't be available for either national games (impacting those teams) or BBL games (impacting those teams).

Thirdly, the establishment of the BBL is reported to have come at the cost of investment in Cricket development. While it is all very well to have people tuning in to watch the BBL and KFC product-placement, there wont be much to watch if people stop playing the game well. Or at all.

Lastly, the Australian sports-market is vastly different to that of the front-runner of all Twenty20 leagues; the Indian Premier League (IPL). Local fans won't necessarily support the East Melbourne Hoodanini's just because the Victorian team doesn't exist. Australian's are incredibly parochial and traditional in this way.

C'arn the Mazda's!

If Cricket Australia was serious about revamping the Twenty20 league, while also developing the domestic league, investing in the sport at local levels and making a profit; it would surely make sense to use the resources they have that work, rather than re-invent the wheel?

The IPL may or may not be a corrupt league, but it seems to be working pretty well. Further, attendance at the existing Big Bash league games has been exceeding expectations, so there is plenty of support for the State-based teams that have been going around since the 19th century.

The obvious solution, for mine, would be to expand the IPL to make it the International Premier League and use the solid foundation that has been built for the benefit of all.

While I have no interest in the IPL or the BBL, I do like to know that the Victorian side I have supported through the grave times will continue on. After all, the only thing worse than having a poor team is not having a team at all.

Sign of the Times - Irony got lost on St George's road...

Cricket Australia dumps Katich for phone salesman

Moving ever-towards the requirements of a 21^st century sporting powerhouse, Cricket Australia (CA) dropped Simon Katich, its most successful batsman of the last three years.

While there is no obvious replacement for Katich, who famously redesigned his batting action to make him an indispensable accumulator of runs in a team full of flash and inconsistency, CA are excited with the prospect of having someone with genuine advertising appeal at the top of the order.

Not a mobile phone in sight

A spokesman from Spitball ltd, an international Cricket Marketing company, was quoted as being very excited about this announcement. “I’m very excited” he said.

“This is a great leap forward for Cricket Australia, they have taken the first step in moving away from pretending to be a sports administration body to a reactive group of part-timers who would sell their grandmothers to ensure the coffers of their organization are full”

"Cricket has been too slow to react to Marketing opportunities in the past, they keep clinging on to this sense of History that the game has. Who needs that? How can you sell roaming mobile charges? No, really, how?"

He was quick to add; “I’m only talking about the short term here, this income stream will totally dry up when the fans start turning off”.

Witnesses on the scene are still trying to explain how he spoke in Italics.

Sign of the Times - The re-hydration is market is getting desperate

Sign of the Times - First "Africa" and now...toilets?

Sign of the Times - Best advice from an airline, ever

Thought of the Day: Honesty in Sports-people? Meh

A consistent criticism of modern sports-people is that the media training that they receive has made them predictable and dull, witness how often you will hear "a good effort from the boys today", "we're taking it one game/week/minute/ at a time" and "always good to get a win / take the points".

While this makes a lot of sense in that most sports are rather binary in that their results can only be wins or losses, or in the case of cricket: ties and draws as well. This doesnt leave a lot of space for reflection or hypothesising on results and what could be done differently.

There are, however, games within games that do draw much commentary; perhaps often for the sake of it.

The recent 3 week suspension of Melbourne Football Club player, Jack Trengrove, for tackling an opposition player was one such 'game within a game' that drew considerable commentary from Trengroves team-mates on Twitter.

The majority of this commentary was hardly an insightful reflection on the state of the modern game & the inconsistencies of the bodies that govern it, James Frawleys comment about interchanging Football for Netball being a prime example, the commentary still raised the ire of the league for speaking out of line.

While the commentary was hardly controversial, I found it unusual that the league would act to censure the players for comments that condemned the players themselves more than image of the league.

Is this not setting a bad precedent? If players are restricted from developing the ability to develop coherent arguments or statements they could end up like Shane Warne, who referred to a century scored by one of his team-mates in a (losing) IPL game: "the best he has seen".

A dire future for sporting commentary, indeed.

image courtesy of news.com.au

Overheard conversation of the day

Woman: "This area is really funky, look at how that guy over there is dressed"
Man: "He's homeless"
Woman: "Oh"

Question of the day: What seperates and expert from the rest?

Sign of the Times - Price of time found (at Coles)

Little wonder the Suns are struggling

Recently seen on 'The Age' mobile publication:


Little wonder the Gold Coast Suns are struggling this year if one of their star recruits, Karmichael Hunt, is doubling up as Pakistan's Interior Minister.

Cricket Australia demonstrate they are in touch with Gen-Y & can’t manage a Cricket Association, appoint “Pup” Clarke as captain.

Following on from a disastrous Ashes campaign and calamitous World Cup knock-out, the powers-that-be at Cricket Australia (CA) have gone into damage control and appointed Michael “Pup” Clarke as Captain.

Pup takes over the reigns of one of the most successful sports teams in recent history with no history of successful captaincy and poor recent form on the field, though does promise to bring a new breed of supporter to the game; the disinterested supporter.

“This is a brilliant move on behalf of CA” one prominent Marketer commented on the news, “They could have taken a brave step and brought in Simon Katich as a transitional captain, with Ponting and Hussey in support, and started developing new players – but all that would have done is keep the traditional fan base”

“By appointing Clarke, and not Clark, they have ensured that the team will be rudderless and hopeless for years to come. This is sure to drive away the traditional supporters of the game, who, frankly were getting a little tiresome, while attracting a new crowd more interested in what the Captain is tweeting or his hair product.”

“This is a chance for them to go really large on product placement and sponsorship” the marketer continued.

Representatives from the BCCI have failed to officially respond to this change of approach from CA, though it is rumoured that future IPL teams will have to contain Bollywood stars, not just be owned by them, and that any semblance of cricket may finally be removed.

Sign of the Times - Caltex really are cutting the advertising budget

Following on from an earlier blog posting, it seems that advertisers are getting a whole lot more basic - or is it abstract? Either way, I don't really feel any more inclined to buy petrol. Or 'takeaway'.

Sign of the Times - Finally: a store for when you are, or aren't playing lawnbowls

Sign of the Times - Learning has changed

Quote of the Day

This from Chris Isaak, last Saturday night during his show in Mornington:
"Call home and tell the babysitter you will be home late. Tell them that if the kids won't go to sleep, give them some gin. A little bit of gin is ok for kids. I'm no Doctor, but I do have sequins"

Thought of the Day: Stoners aren't very bright

News from Bangladesh this morning that Bangladeshi cricket fans have reacted to their teams hammering courtesy of the West Indies by stoning the West Indies team bus.

While initial reactions were largely in the "well, its only three thousand poor losers" camp, these reactions quickly changed when the story clarified that the stoners had meant to target the Bangladeshi bus instead.

Now, while this is obviously a pretty stupid thing to do, it really doesn't make one look any better if you can't even pick the right target. I mean, the West Indian team was the one that DID play cricket - well.

You can almost imagine the stoners all lined up alongside the bus, stoning away with great ire, until one of them realises that they are stoning the wrong bus:
"Hang on chaps! It's the wrong bus! I said hang on - Ajmal, stop stoning! Right, that's it! No-one is to stone anyone until, and I want to make this clear, until I blow this whistle!"

Songs that sound similar 2

Eric Clapton with 'Tears in Heaven' and 'Eternal Flame' by The Bangles.

Explain thyself, Eric!

Thought of the Day: The Empire's problem? Poor Prioritisation

Photo courtesy of Wookipedia.

While re-visiting Star Wars Episode 3 the other day, the last one of the new ones that comes before the oldest one of the old ones, I noticed that the Empire had started work on the Death Star before the movie even finished.

The other thing I noticed was that everyone working on the starship that the Emporer and Vadar were hanging out on were already in uniform.

Now, given that the Empire had been in existence for about 10 minutes at that stage of the movie; where did they get all these uniforms from? Did they have tailors working undercover, sizing prospective employees up for an as-yet non-existent army?

And if so, why did they focus so much on uniforms, rather than the Death Star? Surely having the 'ultimate power in the galaxy' would be more important than looking nice, or am I missing the point?

Thinking about the films in order, I realised that the Death Star actually took another 20 years to become fully armed and operational from the time that the uniforms were used, while the second Death Star took about 5 years to build after the first was destroyed.

Again, by focussing on their attire, the Empire seems to have really shot themselves in the foot in regards to achieving their goals.

Sign of the Times - the evolution of landfill

Quote of the Day

From my football coach on what I should be looking to do on the field this season:

"You get out there, you get in their faces, you look at them and say; 'Your stuff? It's no good!'. Then, BAM! You come off again."

Looking forward to it.

Slummer of Cricket

With James Anderson hoiking a ball into the Western Australian skies on Sunday, only to be caught by Brad Haddin limping across to silly mid-on from behind the stumps, another summer of international Cricket came to an end here in Australia.

This time of year usually means that I start going into a bit of a funk, as all there is to look forward to is (immediately) sunburn and (longer term) another season following the Melbourne Football Club.

Not so this year.

The performance of the Australian team this summer was pretty ordinary, pyjama stuff aside, and it looks like its possible that the Demons may not finish last this year. Looks like.

Aside from the appalling way in which the Cricket team performed and was administered, one of the worst things about the International season was the television coverage.

Firstly, why are the cricket commentators suddenly promoting other shows on Channel 9? I listen to some commentators because I respect their opinions about cricket, not because I think they have lovely speaking voices and my TV watching is heavily influenced by their opinions.

Actually, its quite the opposite, Tony Greig telling me that "2 and a half men" is "right here at the home of comedy" makes me think he has seen far too much sun and needs to be put out to pasture.

Secondly, why are we drowning in KFC and Vodafone advertising? Is there no-one else that wants to advertise when the cricket is on? The fact that Vodafone took a massive hit during the Ashes campaign did nothing to help Cricket Australia's reputation, while fried chicken really isn't the sort of thing one associates with sports.

In regards to the standard of commentary itself, it seems the modern commentator (read: Slater, Healy etc) really isn't so much interested in the game itself as yelling about it, or anything else going on in their lives; whether it be KFC or the home of comedy.


The list of complaints and questions goes on, but this must also be asked: James Brayshaw?
Why?!

And now its over to you Richie.
(photo courtesy of ecb.co.uk)

Sign of the Times - Real Estate is getting specific

Don't dare and try put a coffee shop here.

Sign of the Times - the things people carry with them these days...

Sign of the Times - you know you're in North Coburg when...

You're driving behind an "L" plater that has a "Baby on Board" sticker.

While on the subject, why is it "an" L plater and not "a" L plater? Surely its "a" P plater?

Sign of the Times - Bunnings hates arithmetics

Sign of the Times - I need to go on a diet

Prime Ministers XI or an XI of Prime Ministers?

Following on from yesterday's debacle against the England XI, I started thinking about the benefits of the Prime Minister's XI and whether we might be better off with an XI of Prime Ministers.

After not much consideration at all, here are my picks;

1. Edmund Barton, opens it all up;

2. Bob Hawke, rowdy singer of the team song & passionate opener (of beers);

3. Paul Keating, stylish first drop who naturally comes in after Hawke;

4. Robert Menzies, stoic at number 4 though causes confusion in the rooms by constantly playing songs by ‘Queen’;

5. Ben Chifley, good man in a crisis;

6. Gough Whitlam (c), some issues with selectors despite popularity with the people;

7. Julia Gillard (wk), always works hard behind the scenes/sticks;

8. John Howard, providing plenty of spin and ability to spend time at the crease;

9. John Curtin, good bowler at the death;

10. “Black” Bill McMahon, angry fast bowler;

11. Joseph Lyons, can bowl us through any depression;

Other considerations:

• Harold Holt, didn’t make the list through a penchant to go missing in the field
• Francis Forde & John McEwan, no longevity at the crease

Sign of the Times - VicRoads are trying to kill me

Can you read the line on the bottom of the green (Car registration) sticker? Neither could I. Its telling me (as a driver) to "Stay Safe. Don't talk or text on your phone while driving". How about "Don't try and read this sticker while driving"?