Saturday 15 March 2008

Lesson of the Day

As a sociological study, Ive been playing a bit of Wolfenstein 3D in the last fortnight, which some of you may remember as a PC game from the early nineties.


For those of you unfamiliar with the game, the basic premise is that your character is a prisoner of the Nazis (in Castle Wolfenstein) during the Second World War and have managed to overpower a guard and steal his gun.

The game begins with your character in his cell, with the stolen gun, from which point you start tear-arsing around the castle, killing guards and progressing through the castles floors until you get to have a donny-brook with Hitler himself at the end.

Playing this game again has been interesting for a number of reasons, not least how computer games and the stories for them have advanced. For example, your character seems to be the only prisoner in the Wolfenstein Castle, despite it being overrun with soldiers. Also, your character can regain health by eating plates of roast chicken and dog food that seem to be lying about.

If nothing else, it has provided me with a number of important lessons that I thought I would convey:
1) If you have imprisoned someone with three lives in your castle, take (at least) two of the lives off them immediately
2) If you are able to produce roast chickens and dog food with amazing regenerative powers, dont leave them lying around your prison
3) If you have one prisoner in your multi-levelled and uber-patrolled castle, put the majority of the guards around that prisoner
4) Better still, if some of your guards carry machine guns and are more resilient than the ones carrying say, handguns, get them to guard your biggest threat (e.g. your one prisoner)
5) Dont leave, or allow your guards to leave, magazines of ammunition or even machine guns lying around in your prison/castle. It makes it a LOT easier for your one prisoner to escape and, as they say, tidyness is next to godliness.
6) Computer games, even old ones, are great for procrastination

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