With the Cricket World Cup less than 3 months
away, interest is starting to pique in Australia with the current ODI series
against South Africa underway & another series against India and England in
the mix as a warm-up in January.
Heightened interest is leading fans to
discover the teams involved (all 14) of them, and the star players of each.
With teams coming from such diverse locations
as Ireland, the UAE, Zimbabwe and the West Indies (who could be replaced by
Hong Kong if their players can’t be arsed committing to a tournament lasting
more than a week), the names on offer are equally exotic.
So with that in mind I have looked into which
teams have the best, or World Cup winning, names here:
Zimbabwe
Best Performers:
·
Shingi Masakadza: A truly
electric-sounding African name, Shingi ensures that an authentic African
flavour will be present at the cup.
·
Regis Chakabva: Regis
brings a regal touch with his first name and some African (and potentially hard
to pronounce) flavour with his last name.
This should ensure plenty of hilarity to TV watchers while the likes of
James Brayshaw struggle with pronunciation.
Overall
A traditionally strong team in the naming
department (e.g Heath “Hot” Streak and Henry “How” Olonga), the Zimbabweans
seem to have actually stepped up for this World Cup. They are bringing a really diverse and
interesting mix and are sure to be there for the last match.
2/14
England
Best Performers:
·
Eoin Morgan: I challenge any player in this
World Cup to have as many vowels making up their first name as Eoin. A true stand out.
·
Ravi Bopara: This blokes name sounds like a
party I want to be invited to. It jumps
around off the tongue and ensures that the 3 Lions have some real diversity in
the team.
Overall
A team that has lifted out of the
Australian-level doldrums through an aggressive immigration policy, they bring
a lot of interest to the competition with the diversity of their names, though
a bad taste remains when you consider that many of the players have just been
stolen from other countries.
8/14
Australia
Best Performers:
·
Mitchell Starc: Though no
guarantee to play, this Mitchell (not Marsh or Johnson) at least brings some
slavic representation through his last name.
Also has good eye brows.
·
Xavier Doherty: No
guarantee to play, though has somehow managed to play 57 ODIs despite averaging
about 40 with the ball. Brings some interest with his first name that starts
with an ‘X’. Also, is Tasmanian, which is a bit weird.
Overall
Traditionally under-achievers in the Cricket
Names World Cup with very few names raising more than the single eye brow. I can’t see these guys doing much
better. They are basically making up the
numbers.
14/14
Ireland
Best Performers:
·
Niall O’Brien: About as
stereotypical Irish name as you could get, with weird Gaelic spelling turning a
dull name like “Neil” into something more interesting. O’Brien just makes you think of leprachauns
and Guinness. Don’t pretend it doesn’t.
·
Kevin O’Brien: See Niall.
Overall
Having blokes with really Irish names gives
one hope that, if an English game like cricket can make it in Ireland, it can
make it anywhere. Their presence gives
the Cup some excitement and promise.
Definitely finalists.
4/14
Scotland
Best Performers:
·
Craig Wallace: Perhaps a
descendent of William Wallace who brandishes his bat like a broadsword, or
perhaps just a bloke named Craig.
·
Gordon Goudie: I’m not
sure if Goudie is a traditional Scottish name, but it does remind me of Tim Brook-Taylor,
and that makes me happy.
Overall
A disappointing result from a team with so
much potential. Similar to Ireland,
Scotland has the potential for stirring national names, but also benefit from
the immigration policies that England has benefited from. Unfortunately neither of these is well
represented with this squad, who have some serious introspection ahead of them.
11/14
New Zealand
Best Performers:
·
Brendon McCullum: Not really
that good a name on face value, but becomes pretty entertaining once pronounced
with a New Zealand accent. I’m hoping he doesn’t find out about this blog, he
terrifies me.
·
Inderbir (Ish) Sodhi: Lifts the
team from a naming cesspool including “Ross”, “Kane” and “Neil”. Having a first
name that is so hard for team mates to pronounce that his official name is his
nickname shows how good this bloke is.
Overall
The Black Caps always win a few points simply
through the entertainment created by pronouncing their names in a Kiwi accent,
but that trick is starting to get a little tired and predictable, particularly
in a competition as strong as this.
12/14
Bangladesh
Best Performers:
·
Mahmudullah: I’ve posted already
about my admiration for the man with one name, but his unique defiance of
naming conventions makes him a stand-out attraction & brings the team up
the ranks
·
Shakib Al Hassan: Possibly the
only player in the Tournament who is as flashy as his name suggests. Follows on from Mahmudullahs lead by
dismissing the 2 name format for 3. One
to watch.
Overall
Good performers if a little predictable, who
unfortunately suffer from the precedent set by long-time World Cup participants
& neighbour, Pakistan, for Muslim names.
Still, a delightful addition & will finish just short of the semi
finals.
5/14
South Africa
Best Performers:
·
Morne Morkel: What can I
say? Tuna Morne?
·
Quentin De Kock: OK, this
is a little bit obvious, but it only gets worse when you consider that his name
sounds like “Cutey Cock” when pronounced differently.
Overall
I really would like to put these guys up the
ladder for creativity alone, but you can’t reward creativity for creativities
sake alone. They are just weird and uncomfortable names. Only the dull Australian names keep them from
the cellar. Kick them out.
13/14
India & Pakistan
I am never going to preference one of these
on-line over another.
Tied for 6th and 7th.
Sri Lanka
Best Performers:
·
Harder to pick than a broken nose. Could be any of Lokuge Dinesh Chandimal, Herath Mudiyanselage Rangana Keerthi Bandara Herath, Uda Walawwe
Mahim Bandaralage Chanaka Asanga Welegedara or Ranaweera Mudiyanselage Shaminda
Eranga
Overall
Traditionally strong performers in the
Cricket Names World Cup, the Sri Lankans have only improved in the last 4 years
and will take out the main prize again this year. With cricketing talent to match their names,
they will be playing more games than most & giving fans the longest
enjoyment. First place by a furlong.
1/14
Afghanistan
Best Performers:
·
Mohibullah Oryakhel: One of the things I like best about this
bloke, is that his CricInfo profile says you can alternatively spell his last
name with an “I”, rather than an “e”.
Genius.
·
Shafiqulluh: See Mahmudullah
(Bangladesh)
Overall
With the potential to suffer from the issue
of similar names as that of Bangladesh and Pakistan, Afghanistan break the
mould with an influx of the letter “Z” and other exotic pronunciations. A welcome addition to the competition &
certain contenders for the “Super Sixes” stage.
6/10
West Indies
Best Performers:
·
Narsingh Deonarine: Adds a
real flair to a team that is otherwise filled with “Dwayne”, “Darren” and “Chris”.
·
Sulieman Benn: There is so
much about this bloke that represents the plight of modern WI Cricket; he is 6
foot 7 but bowls off spin. That being
said, I can’t help but think of Neil Diamond whenever I hear his name. Also an issue.
Overall
Have never really set a good standard since
their heydays of the 70s and 80s with the likes of Colin Cowdrey and Malcolm
Marshall. In many ways the tournament
would be a lot better if this lot didn’t show up & were replaced by Hong
Kong.
10/14
United Arab Emirates
Best Performers:
·
Krishna Karate: With a first
name invoking a peaceful deity and a last name invoking Daniel-San, this bloke
has an attractive and juxtaposed mix.
Look for some very David Carradine style play.
·
Andri Berenger: In a team
of very Islam-inspired names, Berenger is a stand-out & gives the team some
real diversity
Overall
Last seen at the 1996 World Cup after
qualifying for the Group Stages, the UAE have brought some real fire,
creativity and diversity in the naming department. Definitely Quarter finalists, I see them
finishing third.
3/14