Thought of the Day: The Cricket Names World Cup

With the Cricket World Cup less than 3 months away, interest is starting to pique in Australia with the current ODI series against South Africa underway & another series against India and England in the mix as a warm-up in January.

Heightened interest is leading fans to discover the teams involved (all 14) of them, and the star players of each.

With teams coming from such diverse locations as Ireland, the UAE, Zimbabwe and the West Indies (who could be replaced by Hong Kong if their players can’t be arsed committing to a tournament lasting more than a week), the names on offer are equally exotic.

So with that in mind I have looked into which teams have the best, or World Cup winning, names here:

Zimbabwe

Best Performers:

·      Shingi Masakadza: A truly electric-sounding African name, Shingi ensures that an authentic African flavour will be present at the cup.

·      Regis Chakabva: Regis brings a regal touch with his first name and some African (and potentially hard to pronounce) flavour with his last name.  This should ensure plenty of hilarity to TV watchers while the likes of James Brayshaw struggle with pronunciation.

Overall

A traditionally strong team in the naming department (e.g Heath “Hot” Streak and Henry “How” Olonga), the Zimbabweans seem to have actually stepped up for this World Cup.  They are bringing a really diverse and interesting mix and are sure to be there for the last match.

2/14

England

Best Performers:

·      Eoin Morgan: I challenge any player in this World Cup to have as many vowels making up their first name as Eoin.  A true stand out.

·      Ravi Bopara: This blokes name sounds like a party I want to be invited to.  It jumps around off the tongue and ensures that the 3 Lions have some real diversity in the team.

Overall

A team that has lifted out of the Australian-level doldrums through an aggressive immigration policy, they bring a lot of interest to the competition with the diversity of their names, though a bad taste remains when you consider that many of the players have just been stolen from other countries.

8/14

Australia

Best Performers:

·      Mitchell Starc: Though no guarantee to play, this Mitchell (not Marsh or Johnson) at least brings some slavic representation through his last name.  Also has good eye brows.

·      Xavier Doherty: No guarantee to play, though has somehow managed to play 57 ODIs despite averaging about 40 with the ball. Brings some interest with his first name that starts with an ‘X’. Also, is Tasmanian, which is a bit weird.

Overall

Traditionally under-achievers in the Cricket Names World Cup with very few names raising more than the single eye brow.  I can’t see these guys doing much better.  They are basically making up the numbers.

14/14

Ireland

Best Performers:

·      Niall O’Brien: About as stereotypical Irish name as you could get, with weird Gaelic spelling turning a dull name like “Neil” into something more interesting.  O’Brien just makes you think of leprachauns and Guinness.  Don’t pretend it doesn’t.

·      Kevin O’Brien: See Niall.

Overall

Having blokes with really Irish names gives one hope that, if an English game like cricket can make it in Ireland, it can make it anywhere.  Their presence gives the Cup some excitement and promise.  Definitely finalists.

4/14

Scotland

Best Performers:

·      Craig Wallace: Perhaps a descendent of William Wallace who brandishes his bat like a broadsword, or perhaps just a bloke named Craig.

·      Gordon Goudie: I’m not sure if Goudie is a traditional Scottish name, but it does remind me of Tim Brook-Taylor, and that makes me happy.

Overall

A disappointing result from a team with so much potential.  Similar to Ireland, Scotland has the potential for stirring national names, but also benefit from the immigration policies that England has benefited from.  Unfortunately neither of these is well represented with this squad, who have some serious introspection ahead of them.

11/14

New Zealand

Best Performers:

·      Brendon McCullum: Not really that good a name on face value, but becomes pretty entertaining once pronounced with a New Zealand accent. I’m hoping he doesn’t find out about this blog, he terrifies me.

·      Inderbir (Ish) Sodhi: Lifts the team from a naming cesspool including “Ross”, “Kane” and “Neil”. Having a first name that is so hard for team mates to pronounce that his official name is his nickname shows how good this bloke is.

Overall

The Black Caps always win a few points simply through the entertainment created by pronouncing their names in a Kiwi accent, but that trick is starting to get a little tired and predictable, particularly in a competition as strong as this.

12/14

Bangladesh

Best Performers:

·      Mahmudullah: I’ve posted already about my admiration for the man with one name, but his unique defiance of naming conventions makes him a stand-out attraction & brings the team up the ranks

·      Shakib Al Hassan: Possibly the only player in the Tournament who is as flashy as his name suggests.  Follows on from Mahmudullahs lead by dismissing the 2 name format for 3.  One to watch.

Overall

Good performers if a little predictable, who unfortunately suffer from the precedent set by long-time World Cup participants & neighbour, Pakistan, for Muslim names.  Still, a delightful addition & will finish just short of the semi finals.

5/14

South Africa

Best Performers:

·      Morne Morkel: What can I say? Tuna Morne?

·      Quentin De Kock: OK, this is a little bit obvious, but it only gets worse when you consider that his name sounds like “Cutey Cock” when pronounced differently.

Overall

I really would like to put these guys up the ladder for creativity alone, but you can’t reward creativity for creativities sake alone. They are just weird and uncomfortable names.  Only the dull Australian names keep them from the cellar. Kick them out.

13/14

India & Pakistan

I am never going to preference one of these on-line over another.

Tied for 6^th and 7^th.

Sri Lanka

Best Performers:

·      Harder to pick than a broken nose.  Could be any of Lokuge Dinesh Chandimal, Herath Mudiyanselage Rangana Keerthi Bandara Herath, Uda Walawwe Mahim Bandaralage Chanaka Asanga Welegedara or Ranaweera Mudiyanselage Shaminda Eranga

Overall

Traditionally strong performers in the Cricket Names World Cup, the Sri Lankans have only improved in the last 4 years and will take out the main prize again this year.  With cricketing talent to match their names, they will be playing more games than most & giving fans the longest enjoyment. First place by a furlong.

1/14

Afghanistan

Best Performers:

·      Mohibullah Oryakhel:  One of the things I like best about this bloke, is that his CricInfo profile says you can alternatively spell his last name with an “I”, rather than an “e”.  Genius.

·      Shafiqulluh: See Mahmudullah (Bangladesh)

Overall

With the potential to suffer from the issue of similar names as that of Bangladesh and Pakistan, Afghanistan break the mould with an influx of the letter “Z” and other exotic pronunciations.  A welcome addition to the competition & certain contenders for the “Super Sixes” stage.

6/10

West Indies

Best Performers:

·      Narsingh Deonarine: Adds a real flair to a team that is otherwise filled with “Dwayne”, “Darren” and “Chris”. 

·      Sulieman Benn: There is so much about this bloke that represents the plight of modern WI Cricket; he is 6 foot 7 but bowls off spin.  That being said, I can’t help but think of Neil Diamond whenever I hear his name.  Also an issue.

Overall

Have never really set a good standard since their heydays of the 70s and 80s with the likes of Colin Cowdrey and Malcolm Marshall.  In many ways the tournament would be a lot better if this lot didn’t show up & were replaced by Hong Kong.

10/14

United Arab Emirates

Best Performers:

·      Krishna Karate: With a first name invoking a peaceful deity and a last name invoking Daniel-San, this bloke has an attractive and juxtaposed mix.  Look for some very David Carradine style play.

·      Andri Berenger: In a team of very Islam-inspired names, Berenger is a stand-out & gives the team some real diversity

Overall

Last seen at the 1996 World Cup after qualifying for the Group Stages, the UAE have brought some real fire, creativity and diversity in the naming department.  Definitely Quarter finalists, I see them finishing third.

3/14