Question of the Day: What the hell is going on?

Thought of the Day: Freo fans should cool their jets

There has been a lot of hype about the chances that the Fremantle Football Club has in winning this years AFL Premiership, not least from the fans.

Indeed, the "Purple Haze" are in full song of late, looking forward to not only a Finals appearance, but one that may bring silverware.

It is understandable that they should be so excited, after spending the majority of their time in the AFL (nearly 20 years now) as something of a laughing stock / oddity.  To be fair, the original creators of the club didn't do the fans any favours by picking Purple, Green and Red as the primary jumper colours, or by then picking Clive Waterhouse with top draft selections while ignoring the likes of Andrew McLeod.

McLeod pictured here with a Trophy and Medal never seen in Fremantle.

It would seem that the decision by the Fremantle board to appoint Ross Lyon is truly inspired, with the team sitting on second place, seemingly unstoppable at home & playing a very well structured and disciplined style of footy.

But therein lies the tale of caution too.  Anyone that has followed Lyons career is that he is able to turn ordinary teams into Premiership contenders, the list that he had available at St Kilda being much worse than many of its contemporaries at the time, though he has also never been able to win a Premiership.  In 2010 he managed to get his team into the Grand Final twice, and still never came away with the cup.

Then there is the playing style that comes into question.  While the likes of Geelong, Collingwood and Hawthorn have all played (relatively) free-flowing football, with high skills and scores on display, Lyons teams are typically dour and really not that attractive to watch.  Is this the sort of thing Fremantle fans will condone in the name of winning?

Given they support this, the answer may well be 'yes'

Which brings us to the big question surrounding Lyon: legacy.

When Lyon left St Kilda, he did so controversially by essentially organising for his appointment behind the back of his manager and the existing Fremantle coach (Mark Harvey).  This was largely seen as a dishonest and mercenary act, surely not the sort of culture you want introduced to a club.

The other thing Lyon left behind at St Kilda was an ageing playing list with not much in the way of talented youngsters coming through, witness their results this year (3 wins, 9 losses) for any supportive evidence needed there. 

Compare this to Geelong, who have remained a finals contender since "Bomber" Thomson left them as coach (in fact, they won the Premiership the year following his departure) and continued to play attractive / high scoring footy.

While the history books won't go into detail about the type of footy played by premiership winners, it is the fans that experience a teams success and failure, and as such are impacted by the way it plays. After years of poor performances on (and off) the field, it is good to see Fremantle doing well, though it would be the naive face who would expect it to last.

Thought of the Day: AFL mascot results

A friend of mine recently declined coming to a social event on account of him attending the "Lions Wallabies" game.  After a small investigation I discovered he was referring to the Rugby match between the English Lions and the Australian Wallabies.  Apart from being slightly bemused that Australian Rugby players are represented by a small version of an already un-ferocious marsupial, I was also disappointed that the game wasn't being contested between real Lions and Wallabies.

"I'm a Rugby player...raaahhh!" (so cute)

With that in mind I cast my mind to the AFL & wondered if, should teams be represented by their mascots, where they would finish.  Using the a combination of the scientific method and a long lunch, I came up with the following final 18 for the league (from last to first):
18. The Power: I'm not entirely sure what "The Power" is.  Is it electrical Power?  Is it ethereal? Is it Political?  Regardless, when it comes to scoreboard pressure, you need someone to kick goals, not a concept.
17. The Cats: Probably the only time the Cats will finish last in my lifetime.  There is no other mascot as useless on a footy field as a Cat.  Will spend half the time disappearing over the fence and the rest asking to be let in or out.  Will literally be eaten by half their opponents.
16. The Kangaroos: Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of all the animals on my national crest, I just don't think they are up to the task of beating anything that can swoop them from above - or worse.  The 'Roos are obviously gifted with the ability to bound at pace, but I feel that they will be spending most of their time hopping away from danger.
15. The Swans: The least likely to swoop anyone or seem dangerous at all, but Swans are actually a force to be reckoned with. Very protective of their habitats, I'm tipping they will be as good at home as their Sydney counterparts.
14.  The Magpies: The first of the swooping birds on the list, the Maggies are always going to be a chance where shiny silverware is available, though they won't have the size or strength to compete in a serious way with the birds of prey ahead of them.
13. The Eagles: This was a really tough call as there is not much separating the teams ranked from 13 to 11, however the picture I get in my head when I think of an Eagle is Sam from the Muppet Show, and despite his dour leadership, I don't think its enough to get them over the line.

"Kick it straight, Kermit"

12. The Hawks: Why do they finish higher than Eagles but lower than Crows? Because this is my blog, that's why. 
11. The Crows: A bit of a personal favourite, mostly due to a combination of their place in Nordic lore, as well as recent publications regarding their abilities.  Able to hunt in packs, develop strategies and remember targets/enemies, these are the pick of the birds of prey.
10. The Dockers:  Bit of a big call, but I would expect a bunch of shipyard workers to be able to beat a bunch of birds in a game of footy.  Union intervention will probably mean heavy striking though, as well as tight OH&S laws keeping them away from any contact, which is a huge disadvantage against the teams ahead of them, including...
9. The Bulldogs: Will eat any birdlife it comes up against and probably even its young.  Won't play a pretty game of football and will win the hearts and mind of its supporters.  That's right; Mind.  Singular.

Say no more.

8. The Tigers: Possibly the only time in the history of anything where Richmond actually make the eight.  Supporters will still probably tear up their memberships.  Will decimate almost any other animal that it comes up against, apart from the King of the Jungle.
7. The Lions: The last of the animal kingdom to be picked, and with good reason.  While Lions spend most of their time lying around, they are terrifying hunters and don't need much coaching to go for the kill. 

Not playing for draft picks.

6. The Giants: Sure, these guys might be mythical beings and some may argue that they should be left out for not actually existing, but we are talking about playing Footy between Dogs and Birds here, so this is no time to get realistic.  Too big for the teams under them, able to stomp the majority into submission or simply scare them off like Jon Snow while north of the Wall.
5. The Bombers: The highest ranked group that involves any human involvement, the Bombers won't score a lot but they do have the ability to shoot down and drop bombs on their opponents.  It won't lead to long games, but the aerial displays should be entertaining.
4. The Suns: A sun is a giant ball of plasma, that burns gas and emits an extraordinary amount of heat.  A team of suns would literally melt the other team, or actually probably gasify them in an endothermic process.  That's all a bit nerdy, but it all gets a bit serious in the Top 4.
3. The Demons: The only realistic hope I have of seeing my beloved Dees finish at the top-end of the ladder, a team made up of literally Demons would be a hard to beat.  Being undead, immortal, ethereal beings with supernatural powers, the Dees could literally obliterate or torture their opponents for infinity.  Much like the Melbourne Demons team does to its supporters now.

Go Dees. (photo courtesy of abc.net.au)

2. The Saints: If Star Wars taught me anything, it was that George Lucas is a very lucky man.  If it taught me anything else, its that good conquers evil, and as such the Saints will be able to beat the Demons.  While sharing the same immortal & supernatural powers, the Saints will have "good" on their side (as well as St Michaels sword), helping to purge the Red and Blue back into the seventh level of the MCG.
1. The Blues: That's right, you heard it here first.  Nothing can beat depression, not even spiritual beings.  Any time spent on the field with these guys would have the opposition side heading back to the boundary for a quick fix and/or some Leonard Cohen.

Thought of the Day: Champions Trophy (& participants) just a smokescreen

Australia's current One-Day team was knocked out of the latest (last) instalment of the Champions Trophy last night, another competition that they were the incumbent title-holders of that they now participate in as attendees, rather than as competitors.

For the second series in a row the interest in the Australian team was not around performance so much as cohesion, with Dave Warner being suspended for attempting to punch an opponent while in a bar at 2am, Michael Clarke not playing due to his perennially dodgy back and Shane Watson continued to dig a hole for his career to descend into, but off-field distraction.

Watto on his career trajectory (note: may not be Watto)

The issues of the 'culture' within the Australian team have been written about at length elsewhere, while Watson has provoked ire of almost everyone, including myself for his continued selfishness and sense of entitlement - all in the face of poor performance.

If he really isn't committed to the team winning, Watson needs to move on and let someone else in. His performances in the last 2-3 years certainly don't deserve selection & his selfishness is setting a poor example for younger players.

In news relating to actual performance from the Champions Trophy, there wasn't much for Australian fans to be happy about with only George Bailey, Clint McKay and Adam Voges having a decent series, and none of them are going to be considered for a Test any-time soon (Bailey has a poor first-class record, McKay didn't do well in his only Test & there are bowlers galore at the moment, and Voges has only just returned to the ODI team).

Champions Trophy Test squad members Phillip Hughes, Matthew Wade, James Faulkener all had fairly-poor to outright-lousy tournaments while enigmatic One-Day specialists Glenn Maxwell, Mitchell Johnson and Mitchell Marsh all attended the tournament and continued to cement their standing as talented players who just don't seem to be able to concentrate for more than (T)20 overs. 

Remembering to hold onto the bat isn't that easy.
(photo courtesy of theage.com.au)

To be fair, I concentrated as much on the Champions Trophy as Mitchell Marsh does to sobriety, so can't comment with any insight on the performances of "3 Dads" (Nathan Coulter-Nile) or Mitchel Starc.

The main reason for my lack of concentration is that all my Cricket watching has been focussed on the Country Championship and the Australian-A team for the last fortnight, all with an eye to the impending Ashes series.

There are a number of Australian Test players (and potential Test players) all going around in the County Championship at the moment, some of whom are getting runs, others are taking wickets.  While not all of the Test Squad players in the County Championship are amongst the statistical leaders, they are all getting valuable 'time in the middle' and used to English conditions.

Chief amongst these in the County Championship are Ed Cowan and Chris Rogers, who were probably fighting for an opening berth with Warner, though it looks like they may well be now opening together as Warner is suspended and won't be getting any (appropriate) match practice between now and the first test.

Cowan has been averaging 38 for Notts, which is almost totally consistent with his career first-class average, and is yet to bring up a century (which is almost consistent with his Test average).  While it is doubtful that Cowan will give James Anderson nightmares, he is likely to stick around for 20-odd overs to give the dubious middle-order a platform.  Further, he really isn't likely to put himself before the team or try to punch anyone in a nightclub at 2am.

Rogers is currently averaging 65 for Middlesex, including a high score of 214 while batting on a road.  Still, he has scored over 19,000 first-class runs, is experienced and (I'm sure) would love to add to his one test cap.  Again, very unlikely to be getting punchy at 2am.

This is what Rogers does at 2am.  He waits.

The Australian 'A' team has played two matches in the last fortnight against the atomic-cricketing teams of Scotland and Ireland (I mean 'atomic' in regards to size, rather than power), both practice games that were designed to ensure the players got plenty of time in the middle, while keeping the contest interesting.  Indeed, Day 2 of the Ireland match saw 3 declarations, hardly standard match strategy, but everyone got a go.

The gap in standards between the Irish, Scottish and English teams makes it hard to ascertain what the performances of the Australian A team mean, though some overall observations can be made, including:

• James Pattinson seems to have taken to the conditions around the British Sea (9 wickets from ~40 overs at 15);
• Nathan Lyon should hold his spot for the first Test at least (8 wickets from 45 overs at 19);
• Nic Maddinson may be one for the future (blasted 133 not out off not many in the second innings of the Irish game); and (as much as it hurts to say)
• Steve Smith is the logical pick for number 6 for the first test (averaging 57, steadied the Innings in Ireland after an early wobble, had a good series in India and deserves a go).

With these all of these results in mind, the likely XI for the First Test could be:

1. Rogers
2. Cowan
3. Hughes
4. Watson
5. Clarke (c)
6. Smith
7. Haddin (wk)
8. Harris
9. Siddle
10. Pattinson
11. Lyon

One of the obvious things this list says to me is that there is plenty of depth in the bowling, with Bird and Starc to come in for the quicks and Agar and Ahmed for Lyon, though not much at all for the batsmen.  It is highly likely that Clarke won't be able to play all of the games of this series, so another batsmen must be found. 

Potential Australian batsmen, seen here at the MCG

 Unfortunately the two most likely candidates (Usman Khawaja and Warner) have been reared in the Watson school of self-interest, so will need to have their heads-banged if Clarkes back rub doesn't work.

There are a few more 'A' games to go, which should be the ideal time to allow the likes of Hughes, Wade and Watson to spend some time in the middle and score some runs ahead of the real event.

Star Wars YouTube Clip of the Day: French Ballet Disco!!

C3PO in tights doing some prancing.  It's really what he was made to do.

Thought of the Day: David Gower uses a solarium

With this years Ashes series only months away from beginning, the usual media hullabaloo (I just spell checked it, 'hullabaloo' is actually a word) kicked off this week with former English Captain David Gower criticising Australia and Australian cricket fans.

In his interview with Radio Times magazine, Gower stated that Australia doesn't have any culture and that Australian fans are feral, both of which statements infer that Mr Gower certainly doesn't get his lovely tan from living in a glass house.

The very tanned David Gower, pictured here with his culture.
Photo courtesy of themusingsofmisterwilliams.blogspot.com

 

 

 

One doesn't need to look too far to see how impressive, or unimpressive, English culture can be.  Indeed, for a country that has been on the descendency since the fall of the colonies, one really can't say too much about the culture that its contemporary society is built on.

Even Dickens recognised this & idolised Australia as a place of new beginnings in "Great Expectations", long before the ten-pound pom scheme and (more recently) the great waves of English migrating to Australia for a better life.

OK, maybe a bad example

Further, the English cricket fans aren't exactly known for being the most refined of people, not that this is to excuse Australian fans, but you won't exactly find any Australian commentators throwing stones while YouTube exists.

Thought of the Day: Technocracy can work

"Yes Minister!" was a classic BBC production that showed how people at all levels of Government work against each other and for themselves for their own benefit only.  It was a really funny show in that typically droll British way that gave a disturbingly depressing view of the inner-workings of those that are supposed to represent society, while making fun of it.

The main characters in the show were the Minister, his Chief-of-Staff and his secretary.  Every episode presented a new government crisis in which the Minister sought advice from the Chief-of-Staff who inevitably manipulated the situation for their own survival and benefit, and very little else.

In this way, "Yes Minister!" is a great example of almost any dysfunctional organisation & how it works against its stated goals & as apt a reference to the latest debacle to impact the Melbourne Football Club as any.

Also, it had great caricatures.

The Melbourne Football Club has won 1 game from 10 games this year, with that solitary victory being over a team of teenagers that hasn't won a game.  That the victory was only assured in the last quarter of the game is often not mentioned due to the lack of meaning in that game.

Aside from the poor performances on the field, Melbourne has suffered in almost every known way, and even created tragic new ways (President Jim Stynes passed away from Cancer after reuniting and inspiring the club after their last descent into disarray.

Other calamities have included choosing a sponsor who turned out to be a narcissistic sociopath who had to be fired (leaving a financial black hole), firing then re-hiring their underperforming CEO only to fire him again (with his pay out leaving another financial black hole), losing games intentionally to acquire high draft picks only for those players to leave or never develop and so forth.

So little seems to be going right at Melbourne that the fans should probably be grateful that the team turns out in matching uniforms.

Or maybe not

Now into their second CEO and third senior coach in 2 seasons with an underperforming playing group and financial insecurity, some serious questions surely must be asked of the Board.  Having avoided these questions thus far, it seems that Sir Humphrey may have been on their side so far, but surely the time for a commission has come.

A quick comparison of the Melbourne Board against arguably the most successful club of modern times, Geelong, shows some startling results - see the table below:

Melbourne Board Member & Title	Overview	Geelong Board Member & Title	Overview
Don McLardy, President	Top bloke who took the job when Jim Stynes asked him to, successful history in community and club support and fundraising, strong football associations	Colin Carter, President	15+ years experience on the board, 15 years experience on the AFL commission, experience developing and managing significant sporting events
Guy Jalland, Vice President	The first of the Vice Presidents, has extensive experience in the media industry - specifically in legal and executive positions	Gareth Andrews, Vice President	Past player with 45 years experience in the game, also significant club management and media experience
Peter Spargo, Vice President	aka. VEEP2, experience in football administration and running petrol stations, not saying he is on the board due to sponsorship - but its a possibility	Craig Drummond	Extensive experience in managing strategic financial groups, good understanding of what creates & underpins success
Geoff Freeman	An insurance broker	Bob Gartland	Active member of Geelong Football Club and local community for over 35 years, understands the local fans and market
Stuart Grimshaw	Represented New Zealand in Hockey at Olympic level (seriously), extensive experience in Banking and Finance	Alistair Hamblin	Finance guru who has seen the Cats grow and develop financially since 2004
Karen Hayes	CEO for Guide Dogs Australia, plenty of corporate governance experience	Hugh Seward	Club doctor for 25 years, the AFLs go-to man on sports science
Greg Healy	Past player and captain of the club, his heart beats true	Diana Taylor	A sports consultant with extensive experience in football development
Russell Howcroft	The advertising guy you may remember from "Gruen Transfer", CEO of Channel 10
David Thurin	Develops retirement communities and has experience in medicine
John Trotter	Oddly the last man named, 35 years experience in football administration & strong professional experience in risk management

Not only does Melbourne have 10 people on its board, not many of them seem to have strong footballing experience.  While there is little doubt they have been successful in their own fields and are great supporters of the club, the current structure and make-up clearly isn't one that helps create success.

Further, a quick view at the Board of the Hawthorn Football club (who have had no shortage of success in the last 5 years) shows that they only have 6 members on the Board, which goes to show that strength of numbers does not necessarily eventuate in success.  How Melbourne expects to be successful with ten unqualified people doing the job of six is telling to their psyche, perhaps a culture of finger pointing has developed.

Rather than continue to turn-over the coach / CEO / playing list, perhaps its time an eye was cast over the resemblance of the board to the characters of Yes Minister and less fingers were pointed at one another, but rather at the door.