Thought of the Day: Australia's World Cup Squad much like the Rebels

Cricket Australia, the omnipotent rulers of the Australian Cricketing Galaxy, released the players who will be making up the World Cup Squad this weekend past, leading to a mix of nods of agreement and surprised eye brows being raised.

While there are some players who would seem to be automatic selections, there are many others in the squad whose presence cannot be rationally understood.

Taking a few parsecs to consider the team, I came to the conclusion that the selected players are very much like the Rebel Army that attacked the Death Star in Return of the Jedi.  Some are wizards, some are risk takers and others just seem to be there.

With this theory in mind - lets look at some of the comparisons:

Michael Clarke (capt) = Admiral Ackbar

Michale Clarke is a great Cricketer, and a great One Day Cricketer.  He can lead, bat, bowl and field; when fit.  

When he isn’t fit, he can sit and commentate and observe fairly obvious things going on.  Like traps.

Thank you Michael. Yes.  It's a trap.

George Bailey (vice-capt) = Mon Mothma
Mon Mothma is something of a conundrum in the Star Wars world.  She is a leader of the rebellion, but seems to brood over the death of Bothans like no-one else.  Actually, it is precisely no-one else that cares about the dead Bothans.  Watch the movie, she goes all quiet about them being dead and no-one seems to give even a single moments interest.

Anyway, onto Bailey.  He’s in the team and is a leader, but no-one is sure why.  Perhaps it has something to do with his ability to present to a crowd. Similar to Mothma, it seems a long, long time ago since he actually earned his place.

David Warner = Han Solo 

Powerful player with an impressive track record.  Also isn’t afraid of smacking around his enemies, though I dare say Joe Root is a little less intimidating that Greedo.

Aaron Finch = Chewbacca 

Han Solo’s partner.

Shane Watson = C3PO 

Moves around robotically and doesn’t look like he could catch a ball unless it was hit right at him.  Claims to have some fairly incredible skills (e.g. fluent in over 6 million forms of communication / bowls at 130 km/h and can open the batting) though they don’t seem that effective in practice.

Steven Smith = Wedge Antilles

Fly under the radar and kill all our enemies with no reward or recognition? No problems.

Do you even know who wedge is in Star Wars?  You should.  He’s awesome.  He turns up to all the sky battles in which pretty much everyone dies but comes out unscathed.  

He has flown (literally) under the radar for most of his career but is in actual fact a literal destroyer of the opposition, much like Smith who wasn't even in the team until Ackbar got injured. 

Brad Haddin (wk) = R2D2

Handy and rather vocal member of the team who always seems to have a crucial role in any battle he is involved in.

Like R2D2, Haddin seems easy to replace (surely there are better droids out there that can be foiled by something as simple as stairs?), though continues to provide value through runs, leadership and conning the computer systems of a space station to tell you which garbage compactor your friends are in.

Glenn Maxwell,  = Luke Skywalker

Seemingly blessed with every talent under the (possibly multiple) sun(s), Maxwell is still young, a little hot headed and prone to the odd decision (e.g. while on an attack mission, hand yourself over to the enemy).

The Force is strong with this one.

Could turn a game with either bat or ball in his hand, no confirmation as to whether he kissed his sister.

James Faulkner = Lando Calrissien 

Best finisher in the Galaxy, Faulkner (like Lando) will stay cool under pressure to deliver the knock out punch from any situation, regardless of how dire things look.  He’s also the coolest guy in the team.

Xavier Doherty = The Dead Ewok

Much mystery surrounds the inclusion of Ewoks in a Rebel Army; they don’t stand taller than the Storm Troopers hips and, more importantly, they don’t have laser guns.

Similarly, Xavier Doherty can’t really bat or field, and his bowling has been described as “holding”.  Given that there are spin/slow bowlers in the country that can bat and field (e.g. Steve O’Keefe, Adam Zampa) and/or take wickets (e.g. Fawad Ahmed, Jon Holland, Cameron Boyce) there isn’t any clear explanation to Doherty’s inclusion in the team.

In the end, his inclusion is just a bit sad.