Signs your paperboy is on 'roids

Signs GM is getting out of control

Frightening Welcome

I'm not sure which part of this "welcome" is more scary - the featureless android at the front of the poster, or the blurred out mystery man in the background. Good to see Estate Agents haven't lost their famous sense of humour.

What is bigger than 'Biggest'?

Melbournes tough sell of the day

Quality - the cost of expansion

Without wanting this to become a sports-dominated blog, here I go again.

The Australian Football League (AFL) is expanding its 16 team competition in 2011 to 17 teams, and then adding an 18th in 2012. This decision has not been met favourably in many places, and you really hope that the powers that be have invested in a quality crystal ball.

These new teams are going to have an obvious impact on the league, as well as sports in Australia in general. The introduction of the 17th team on the Gold Coast is a risky move, but as the popularity of the team in Brisbane has shown (membership of 26,000 and able to pull crowds of 40,000 - much better than most rugby league teams), the introduction of a team in Queensland may not be a lost cause.

The Gold Coast team have also brought in the left-field choice of Karmichael Hunt (who will be the first commentator to 'slip' on his name?), which is reminiscent of the early Sydney Swans stunts such as the Swanettes and Warwick Cappers' shorts.


The 18th team, to be based in Western Sydney and rumoured to be nicknamed 'The Scrubbers' are a more puzzling choice. The league informs us that this is one of the fastest growing areas in Australia and needs an AFL presence for the sport to survive and grow. Really?

Many AFL fans feel more than a little jaded by this, not least because the majority of teams grew organically from their suburbs, giving fans a sense of connection to the team and their community. The franchise system goes against this spirit and takes a chink out of the integrity of the competition.

Tasmania is crying out to have a team in the elite competition and has 40,000 fans ready to turn up at a game every other week. Further, brewers Castlemaine and Boags would have a bidding war to get their name on the jumpers, meaning that there would be people turning up to games and the club would have some cash coming in. Can the Scrubbers make this claim?


Another up-shot of this expansion is that the new teams will get every draft pick available for the next two years, reducing the number of young & quality players available. While this will mean that players that are currently in the 28-year-old bracket will stand a better chance of being picked up by another team, desperate for players of AFL standard, will it mean a better spectacle for fans? Probably not, which also works against the leagues plan to win over potential Scrubber supporters.

Thought of the Day: Solution to Australia's racist tag? Nannes the man

Another update from www.danichols.com:

Moving back to Australia has been an interesting experience, not least for re-discovering my country and culture, as well as discovering the changes that have occurred. One of the greatest changes I noticed on my return to Melbourne was the increase in ethnic diversity, or more specifically, the rise in the number of Indians, Asians and Kiwis.

Not those Indians or Kiwis...

I’m not saying this is a bad thing at all. I love a curry, I love Chinese food and Kiwis make a darned good coffee. The last comment may sound degrading but its true, and besides; Starbucks seems to be the only place you can seem to buy coffee off someone who isnt a Kiwi, and lord knows any self-respecting Victorian would’t go to Starbucks.

Kiwi’s are also great for Australia, as they seem to hate the place and keep everyone on their toes. Theres nothing like a bit of criticism to help with self-evaluation, or so it would seem.

The recent attacks against Australia, and particularly Melbourne, have been pretty strong and hard for a lot of people to take. Surely we couldn’t be living in a racist city? Not Melbourne; The worlds most liveable city? One could easily dismiss the ‘chk chk boom’ girl‘ as a Sydney slapper who was off her head, after all, Sydney does not have the racial integration as much as Melbourne does. Witness the Cronulla riots, or even Alan Jones. Indeed, Sydney is more like London, with pockets of demographics, without any real mixing or learning.

Melbourne, on the other hand, prides itself on its long multicultural history and peaceful integration. Witness the Multicultural Museum, Lygon St, Chinatown, Russel St, Victoria St (Richmond) etc. While these are all strong ethnic communities, they are all well integrated and there is no hint of segregation.

Until now, perhaps. Sol Turjillo, the former head of Australias largest Telco, labelled Australia as ‘backward’ and ‘racist’ upon leaving the country and the company. Backwards I can understand, with many Australian industries still operating as if competition doesnt exist and the country yet to ditch production for R&D, despite the ridiculous operating costs compared with Asia and the high-quality education facilities available. Racist though? Well, if you call his representation in the press as a Mexican bandit as racist, then yes, I suppose it is. Action like that in America would be unimaginable, and as one American friend of mine said about the affair: “Australia needs a civil rights movement”.

Australias representation of Sol

Carrying on from the racist cries have been those of Indian students based in Melbourne who have been, or feel they are being targetted for assault. With the Victorian Police Commissioner confirming that assaults against Indian students are up over 30%, you would say you had a problem, but perhaps the problem is that assaults are up over 30% and nothing is being done. Indeed, trying to camoflage this as an ‘Indian’ issue seems to reduce the seriousness of it. After all, Indians are pretty loud anyway; no-one is going to be too surprised if they start burning effigies and throwing stones; or so seems the Australian response.

So apart from some actual Policing, what can be done to show the world that Australia (and more importantly, Victoria) is not a Racist haven and that we are all potential victims?

To me, the answer lies in a man with a very colourful wardrobe. Dirk Nannes not only sounds like an international man of action, he is one. Being a member of an already rare species (of left arm fast bowlers, and he sure is fast), Dirk is from Melbourne but plays for Victoria, Delhi and the Netherlands in cricket competition. Can you be a better representation of multicultural harmony, with a striking name?

And he even looks good in pink

Further, he studied the saxophone at University (and here I was tinkering with software!), has an awesome beard, speaks Japanese (as you do) and competes at skiing at an international level. Everyone loves a polymath; witness the Flashman, Leonardo da Vinci, Isaac Newton, MacGyver and Mechelle de Craenne, but most of those are dead or fictional. Or both. But not Dirk, no ma’am.

Dirk is, in fact, so alive and inspirational that he helped guide the Dutch cricket team to a win over England, the hated sporting opposition of Australia, India and New Zealand. In a sporting context, the Dutch beating England at cricket is a little like Australia defeating Brazil at Soccer, or Malaysia defeating the USA at Basketball.

So who better to lead us? If not out of common hatred for the people from the lower part of that Island with bad teeth, then out of sheer inspiration as a modern marvel. It’s time to step up, Dirk.