Adelaide: The little Town that could

The conclusion of the Test Series between Australia and South Africa started off as one-sided and torturous for Australian fans, before becoming interesting, entertaining and full of hope with one small chardonnay-inspired move; to Adelaide.

While the Perth Test is always a boon for the majority of cricket-following Australians, where the 3 hour time difference allows one to get watch (at least) the final session after work.  It almost makes starting an 8-hour day at 9am bearable.  

The result in Perth, a crushing defeat after holding the advantage after the first day was tough to watch, but not apparently for the good people of Western Australia who didn’t appear to turn up at all.  You could argue that there was something better to do, but, well, Perth.

You can’t completely blame them though, while they have had a Test at home regularly for the last 20 years, its hardly received the same promotion or treatment as Melbourne or Sydney, whose dates have been largely locked in over the same period.

The same can be said for the Hobart Test.  While Cricket Australia seems to think it is doing various Capitals a favour by allowing them to host a Test match, they aren’t doing a lot to create interest or attraction to the game.

Doing anything outdoors in Tasmania in November is fraught with enough danger, but attempting a summer sport is just madness.  That the team was able to travel to the ground by snow-skiing over the Derwent River should have caused concerns.

The lack of interest in the game wasn't helped by the state of the Australian team, which seemed more like a boat struggling across the Tasman sea during the Sydney to Hobart race, though perhaps involving more players brothers storming off.

Then came Adelaide and for perhaps the first time in history, it seemed to fix everything.

Watching the game on television provided a real spectacle, not just on the field but off it too.  The sunsets were spectacular, the ground resplendent and you would think only an OLED TV could make the black colours stand out as much as they did.

In and around the ground a large crowd converged and created an energy about the game.  It reminded me of the Melbourne Cup, just without the images of young women assaulting police or people being pulled out of Rose Bushes.  It looked like people were enjoying the event and that it was being made accessible to all.

On the ground, the game itself suddenly became a contest, with the bowlers getting the advantage, enabling Australia to take wickets when in the field and hold out like Bill Lawry with the bat.

It's a real credit to the good people at the South Australian Cricket Association that they’ve been able to make the Test into such an enjoyable and accessible event in such a short period of time.

It is in Crickets best interest to expand to grow to survive, rather than retract, so six Test Matches (one in each Capital) through the Australian summer would be the logical extension of this approach, but only if they are events that people are drawn to.

They don't have to be six-Test series, they could be 2 three-Test Series, or even 3 two-Test Series.  How else are we ever going to see Bangladesh play here?

Melbourne has the Boxing Day Test, Sydney has the New Year Test and Adelaide seems to have successfully captured interest through its Day-Night Test; so what are we to do to get the other half right?

To start with, giving each ground a set date or order in the sequence of Tests would make sense (e.g. Melbourne with the Boxing Day Test).  This would enable the locals to plan around the event and for the organisers to promote it on the local calendar. 

There is also the opportunity for change along these lines; the Sydney Test could be held over the Australia Day weekend, enabling it to access a broad market while also cashing in on all sorts of Australiana.  This would also enable Hobart to take over the New Years Test, allowing the match to be played in sunny conditions and coinciding with the finish of the boat race.

As for Perth and Brisbane, well, I don't have all the answers.

So Three cheers for Adelaide for saving the Test series and showing the others how to do it, pie floaters all round.

Question of the Day: How much should Australia panic?

The first test is over and the Australian cricket team is in ruins.  Having been in a winning position after the first day, Australia’s batsmen folded like a house of cards, the Bowlers couldn't find a pole at a flag convention and the Captain had all the strategy of a slightly-worn lounge chair.

Or so the press are telling us.  The end is nigh and so on.

How bad was the loss really and what does it mean for the Team in the immediate and longer-term future?  How much should we actually be panicking?

Well, lets go through the elements…

Team Selection: It seems the selectors are more focussed on selecting by numbers, picking players to fit a plan, rather than fitting a plan around the top XI cricketers in the Country. 

Rod Marsh said Jackson Bird (a bowler) wasn't picked before the first Test because of his batting.  What next, drop the ‘keeper because of his ability to carry drinks?

Mark Waugh backed Mitchell Marsh to play in the second Test before the First was over, right after he’d scored a duck and not taken a wicket.

Panic level: Facebook just revealed a very dark side to the babysitter you hired for the night

Captaincy: Steve Smith was sent home from the lost Tour to Sri Lanka for a rest.  He obviously followed orders as he sure didn’t spend the time in the nets or working out strategies. 

12 months ago Smith was practically un-dismissible, walking around the crease to hit balls wherever he pleased.  Whatever has changed needs to be put in reverse faster than a pre-election promise.

Panic Level: Possible Trump Presidency

Batting: Dave Warner and Usman Khawaja both got 97s in the Test, which is apparently a Test match first and should lock them both in for the rest of the series. 

Maybe the rest of the team just isn’t watching enough OLED TV?

After failing in England and Sri Lanka but smashing a depleted West Indies at home last summer, it looks like Adam Voges' time may be up.  A Chris Rogers replacement he is not & you’ve got to wonder if the selectors didn't miss a trick in picking a younger batsman (read: anyone) instead of him 18 months ago.

Peter Nevill batted beautifully in the Second Innings, showing his ability with the willow could be as good as his ability with the gloves.

Shaun Marsh is injured and in other news, water is wet.

Panic Level: That feeling when you think you may have left the back door unlocked

Bowling: A fresh Mitchell Starc, Peter Siddle and Josh Hazlewood, combined with an opportunistic Nathan Lyon to dismiss South Africa for 242 in the first innings, which is pretty impressive.

Less impressive was the second innings effort when the pitch flattened out and there seemed to be no clue as to how to get a wicket.  Hazlewood and Starc both had moments, but leaked runs, while Lyon was ignored by his Captain and belted by the batsmen.

There has been suggestion that Lyon should be dropped based on other spinners doing well last weekend in the Sheffield Shield, but none (O’Keefe, Holland, Agar) of them are huge turners of the ball or have over 200 Test Wickets.

It is seriously possible that Starc may need a rest.

Panic Level: To paraphrase Kent Brockman “it is time for our viewers to crack their heads open and feast on the goo inside”

Summary: With Smith out of form and Starc out of the side, Australia is much less of a threat to score enough runs or take enough wickets. Bringing Joe Burns in for Shaun Marsh is (at least) a good longer-term strategy though another, proven, middle order bat is needed.

The inability to take second innings wickets is the real worry, though someone with Lyons experience should bounce-back.  Siddle and Mitch Marsh, possibly not.

Panic Level: You’re the guy on the Titanic who forgot the key to open the case that holds the binoculars, just when you need them

Top 5: Alternatives to Mitchell Marsh

The First Test between Australia and South Africa begins tomorrow, with Mitch Marsh looking to take the all-rounders place, batting at 6 and bowling quite a bit with the expectation of Mitch Starc being undercooked and needing reprieve.

This is all very good and well, until you consider Marsh’s form of late, which gives little confidence of his ability as a batsman or a bowler.  Jackson Bird was apparently not picked because selectors didn’t rate his ability with the bat, which makes you wonder what Marsh is being picked for given he can’t seem to do either.

With this in mind, I’ve identified the Top 5 alternatives to Marsh as the number 6:

1.     Travis Head

Remember when Australia had middle-order batsmen who could score centuries, look good doing it, and bowl a bit of spin to relieve the main bowlers?  You know, when we had players like Darren Lehmann, Andrew Symonds and Mark Waugh coming in at 5 or 6?

Those were the days when we used to win a lot of cricket, and there may be something to having more run scoring options in the side. Call me crazy.

Head is a very good batsman who can bowl a bit, but probably shouldn't be picked for it. Further, he is only 22 years of age and could have a long role in the team ahead of him.  Getting a prolonged run at 6 could set him up better than ditching smashed avo helps new home buyers .

2.     John Hastings

“The Duke” is arguably the best and most reliableInternational all-rounder in Australia at the moment.  He regularly takes wickets in ODIs and can be relied upon to guide the team home in chaces or hit out.

More of a bowling all-rounder than a batting all rounder, he is a genuine chance to take wickets (he was once picked in a Test as a bowler) and can bowl long spells.

While not the most graceful person to have picked up a cricket bat, Hastings can keep his head and compile innings, rather than simply swipe at every ball like someone at the checkout at Coles.

3.     Marcus Stoinis

Stoinis plays with a bat that is so straight that Tony Abbott feels very comfortable in its company.  Coming in higher up the order for Victoria, Stoinis could provide some stability and reliability in the middle overs.

He also bowls quickly and consistently, if unspectacularly, and at 27 years of age has plenty of upside to offer.

4.     Glenn Maxwell

“The Big Show” is similar to Marsh in many ways, with seemingly unending and unfulfilled talent that commentators insist on talking about until you repeat it to yourself in your sleep.

Maxwell has little Test experience, but has been used primarily as a top order batsman.  Batting with in the middle orders may force Maxwell to take some responsibility and bat sensibly.  Also, he can play spin pretty well, which is generally of benefit to a middle order bat.

His spin is nothing to write home about, or even email, but he is primarily being picked to bat and help provide the main bowlers with a rest.

5.     Shaun Marsh

A controversial pick, but one that ensures that at least one of the Marsh brothers is picked in the side, something selectors seem to feel very strongly about.

Like Maxwell, Shaun Marsh is an excellent player of spin and seems to prosper when there is less pressure (e.g. against the West Indies side that was offered up last summer), so like the US Army, could be more successful coming in closer to the end than the beginning.

While he doesn’t provide a bowling option, that is hardly a change from what his brother is doing now.

Question of the Day: What’s going on with One Day Cricket?

Cricket fans are an anxious bunch; they are constantly looking at their game & wondering what is wrong with it and what needs to be changed.  For an example, just look at the title of this article.

For another example, look at One Day Cricket.

The format was originally invented to make the game more interesting and bring more fans to the game.  That certainly worked and the format was going well…going well until another, shorter, format turned up and made it the weird relative who mysteriously turns up to all family outings without ever being invited.

Since the introduction of T20 cricket, and particularly international T20 cricket, One-Day cricket has struggled for relevance, grounds, players and recognition.

Once used as a means of acclimatising players to Test cricket, it suddenly became the social smoker of the cricket world; it was something that people did sometimes, though without a clear reason why.

Cricket Australia recognised the issues with One Day cricket a few years ago and changed its domestic tournament to run over the period of a month, rather than the whole summer, freeing up grounds and players for Test and T20 competitions.

The lack investment in the format has seemingly resulted in a smaller talent pool of players & lower interest from Coaches and Administrators, with the Australian ODI team recently losing a series 5-0 against South Africa, the first time they’ve ever faced the broom and been cleanly swept.

There are some mitigating factors in play, including significant injuries to key players, but the abject defeat suggests wider issues are at play.  Unless you’re Fremantle FC, you don't go from playing in a World Cup final to easy-beats within 12 months.

Sorry Pav

Even when considering injuries, the Australian team was outplayed in every department, particularly with the ball.  It was such a bad overall showing that Matthew Wade was one of the better performers.

Of the bowlers, Chris Tremain, Joe Mennie, Dan Worrall and Scott Boland seem to be pretty good State cricketers, but they took a combined 15 wickets in the 5 games for the cost of 685 runs at an average of 46 at 6.6 runs per over.

This is hardly frightening stuff & contributed to the pressure put on the rest of the bowlers and the batsmen to chase or create big totals.

Adam Zampa (3 wickets at 72) seems like a leg spinner with promise, but he too took more of a battering than the Montague Street Bridge, which is hardly the sort of thing that will help his development.

Mitch Marsh seems to have taken over his brothers’ job of claiming a spot in the team to ensure someone named ‘Marsh’ is in it, with little other justification. He averaged 27 with the bat and 67 with the ball.

Of the batsmen, only David Warner (386 runs at 77) had a better than average series, following on from the success he had in Sri Lanka where he also captained the side.

Aaron Finch (108 runs at 21) and George Bailey (114 runs at 22) remind me of overweight middle-aged businessmen who are still at the bar after 11pm, their best is behind them and the night isn’t getting any better.  I only know this from my own experience.

Travis Head (139 runs at 27) is in a similar queue-appreciating boat to his South Australian comrade Zampa, young and worth persevering with.

So what is to be done?

A good start may be to select a better mix of experience and youth in the bowling squad.  JasonBehrendorff  is not only using a lot of consonants in his last name, but he’s also bowling extremely well for Western Australia in the compact Domestic Tournament (4 wickets at 27 for 5.4 runs per over).

At 26 years of age, he has had plenty of experience, swings the white ball early and shouldn't be written off as a future prospect.

Cameron Boyce seemingly stepped into a vortex, which resulted in him dropping from the National selectors view & landing in Tasmania.  That's a worse vortex result than nearly everything that dude from Quantum Leap experienced.

No competition

Still, he has a decent international T20 record (8 wickets at 19) and is also performing well in the Domestic One Day competition (8 wickets at 16).

Marcus Stoinis isn’t the quickest bowler going around, but he may be the best looking and has taken 5 wickets at 19 for Victoria in the Domestic Competition.  He also comes in at 3 with the bat and averages 36 with a strike rate of 110. I bet he even dances well. What a bastard.

For the batsmen, it would seem that rather than banishing last summers Test Centurions; Joe Burns and Usman Khawaja from all forms of international cricket, it might be worth letting them find form in the shorter format.

Failing that, Stoinis’ teammate Cameron White is once again dominating the Domestic One Day competition (198 runs at 66) and would certainly provide more of a heavy anchor to any innings than the current featherweight performers.

But perhaps the greatest change of all needs to be the approach to the game.  Cricket Australia needs to stop being a social smoker, get to the local shop and start smashing Winfield’s properly, or just quit altogether.

Thought of the Day: Flashy websites mean you're paying too much for stretching

Question of the Day: Who hurs' a rida?

THEY DO!

Sign of the Times: Trump has hit the floor

Sign of the Times: Product Enthusiasm Levels at Low

Sign of the Times: For your rat depositing requirements

Thanks Bank of Melbourne, thanks

Sign of the times: Ou est ooh ah?

Sign of the Times: Tigers CEO drunk - disguises himself as a GWS player, makes wild claims

Taken from www.theage.com.au

Sign of the Times: Advertising is a complex game

Sign of the times: cuisine for everyone

Taken from Zomato:

Sign of the times: Self awareness big at KFC

Even they give it 1 star

Sign of the Times: High Achiever status now easier than ever to obtain

Taken from 'The Age' on 26/5/16:

Simon Katich:
56 Tests, 99 Innings, 4188 Runs @ 45.03, 21 wickets at 30

Gavin Robertson:
4 Tests, 7 Innings, 140 Runs @ 20, 13 wickets at 39

Also, this:

Sign of the Times: Code Fresh haven't heard of Fremantle FC

Star Wars YouTube clip of the day

Sign of the Times: My golf club speaks Japanese and signs its name as "Seve Ballesteros"

Sign of the Times: bank fresco

Dear Bank of Melbourne,

No.

Sign of the Times: Sub 10 Authorised Vehicles allowed in the park

But as many unauthorized vehicles as you like?

Sign of the Times: lost in translation?

Australia's Centrally Contracted Cricketers: Revealed!

Cricket Australia (CA) announced the players that had gained Central contracts for the next 12 months this week, which essentially indicates the players that may be being picked as a priority, but may not.

It also indicates who is less likely to be picked as a priority, but this isn’t necessarily the case.  Nice one CA!

To provide a bit of an idea of who is IN and who is OUT, I’ve compiled the following:

IN:

·      Steve Smith: Captain, batting superstar and former leg-spinning “joker”.  Scores a billion runs in the middle order. Is already on lots of advertisements, so Cricket Australia is confident they can create a weakness for other teams to exploit, as they have done so previously

·      David Warner: Ex-poster boy and opener who has recently been asked to bat more in the middle order, because we don’t have enough players there.

·      George Bailey: A middle order batsman who once hit a 50 in a Test match! Is 33 years old so brings experience and risk of injury to the squad.

·      Joe Burns: Top order batsman who has been asked to open Tests and responded pretty well.  Still finding his feet (they are under his ankles) and getting used to being in the same change room as Shaun Marsh.

·      Nathan Coulter-Nile: West Australian fast bowler who can bowl quickly, if erratically.  Is possibly being given a chance with an eye to the next World Cup, though more likely because he hasn’t been injured this week and is from West Australia.

·      Patrick Cummins: Really, really fast bowler who is always injured.  Played one Test about 15 years ago when he was 8 & won it all by himself.  Continues to get a contract regardless & allowed to play Big Bash, despite the risk of further injury.  Must be great at cutting oranges.

·      Aaron Finch: Poor little bloke who has a unique condition of colour blindness where the only thing he can’t see is a red ball.  Sees the white ball fine and usually plays as an opener, but the selectors are putting middle order batsmen in those spots now.  That’ll teach him.

·      James Faulkner: The best all-rounder of the 2013/14 One Day series and a good performer in the 2014/15 One Day series who has recently become Virat Kohlis bowling machine.  

·      John Hastings: Apparently “The Duke” is “Big Hearted”, which must mean he is a relative of Phar Laps.  I don't know why horses are allowed to play cricket, I guess they are good at running.  You can use that.  Anyway, he seems as good at effort bowling as he is at sweating and hasn't been injured this morning, so should be given a game.

·      Josh Hazlewood: Fast Bowler who doesn't seem to get injured.  PICK HIM EVERY GAME!

·      Usman Khawaja: Batsman who plays in the middle order or opens, depending on how the selectors want to play with his head.  They simply didn't pick him for ages, despite incredible form, so have moved on to something new to mess with him.  Who says they are stuck in their ways?

·      Nathan Lyon: The only spinner in the squad, which puts a bit of pressure on him & is a bit weird as he isn’t an automatic pick for shorter formats, despite gaining national selection through T20 matches. A technique so elastic he seems to be made of rubber.

·      Mitchell Marsh: Western Australian bowler who is rumored to be able to bat a bit.  Could probably be picked as the 3^rd seamer on bowling ability alone, but selectors are confident they can ruin his confidence and career by making him bat at 7 or 8.

·      Shaun Marsh: Left Handed Western Australian Batsman. Has played 17 Tests for an average of 37.  His figures were blown out over the summer when he monstered the West Indies High School XI attack.  Thankfully India pulled him back to reality.  Could be the next Shane Watson, as in: picked for potential, but will probably just keep getting a contract because he is Mitch’s brother and Geoffs son.

·      Glenn Maxwell: Nicknamed “The Big Show” for reasons that have been lost in the sands of time.  In a bad sign, he is revered by selectors AND Channel 9 commentators, so will unlikely ever fulfil his potential.

·      Peter Nevill: An actual, real, breathing wicket-keeper.  Not a wicket-keeper / batsman or batsman/ wicket-keeper, and actual Wicket Keeper.  Perhaps the first sign that selectors have finally gotten over Adam Gilchrist, are back on Tinder and are going for the BEST. You go girls!

·      James Pattinson: Really fast bowler who is injured a lot.  Changed his action to get less injured but that resulted in less wickets, so he went back to the old action.  Expect more injuries.

·      Peter Siddle: A smart but not very fast bowler who gets injured a lot.  Eats a lot of bananas apparently. Is 31 years old, which is ANCIENT for fast bowlers.  Will probably move into a coaching role in the near future.  Did I mention he eats a lot of bananas?

·      Mitchell Starc: Ridiculously good and fast bowler who has been injured a lot of late.  If he can come back to form, he can win any game in any format almost on his own.  Averages 27 with the bat and has a Test high score of 99.  Apparently he can keep wicket too.  Freak. If he didn’t have the ethnic last name and dark hair, you would put your house on him being in more fried chicken advertisements.

·      Adam Voges: West Australian batsman who struggled in England when it mattered but played well against the West Indies Invitational XI and then hit a 200+ against NZ.  Experienced head who will hopefully be able to identify un-injured fast bowlers to the selectors (other than Joel Paris).

OUT

·      Adam Zampa: Young leg-spinner who had a good Big Bash (he even got a wicket using his head!) and has subsequently had good performances in shorter format games, when he was givne a chance to bowl. The same shorter format games Nathan Lyon isn’t selected to play in. 

·      Ashton Agar: Former CA love-child whose form was killed before they could put him on all the fried chicken advertisements.

·      Jon Holland: Another domestic spinner who recently took a 5-for in a Sheffield Shield Final and is available for selection

·      Cameron Bancroft: West Australian Opening Batsman.  Should be picked for these 2 factors alone apparently.  Is also young with heaps of talent in case, you know, the openers stop performing or get moved to the middle order?

·      Kurtis Patterson: See Bancroft, but not West Australian.

·      Another ‘keeper: We used to have heaps of these; Tim Paine, Matthew Wade (though his inclusion in this category is dubious), Bend Dunk (remember him? He actually played for the Australian team at T20 level!) – but don’t seem to need a back up anymore.  I guess Nevill won’t get injured as he isn’t a fast bowler.

Sign of the Times: Hungry Jacks does Product Placement

Seen in 'The Age', April 4, 2016

Sign of the Times: Darren Sammy doesn't do Biblical references

Thought of the Day: Just call it Kohli Cricket

For those of you in Australia, as well as other people that don’t know, there is a T20 World Cup on. 

Like many other short-form tournaments that Australians don’t care about, it’s also being held in India on something that is now considered a mystery; turning pitches.

Australia played poorly early on in the Tournament but managed to make it to the Semi Finals where it was knocked out by Virat Kohli.

Australia’s performance really re-enforces two major things about T20 Cricket:

1. Australia still doesn’t know how to play it; and
2. You only need one dominant player to win a game.

On the first point, it’s worth noting that Usman Khawaja was only included in the squad when it became clear that picking Shaun Marsh would result in a public linching of Darren Lehmann, James Sutherland and anyone else in a green and gold tracksuit at work. 

To summarise, it would have been a massacre.

Australia’s first foray into international T20 was a bit of a joke, with the game being a fundraiser against New Zealand, who even wore retro outfits and wigs for the game.   

Seen here, professionals

While NZ have realized the reach that the format has to bring fans (and cash) to the game, Cricket Australia seems to have left this to the Big Bash – which is doing a bang-up job of both.

For Australia to become more successful at the T20 format, an overhaul is needed to put experienced T20 campaigners in charge and bring in T20 performers above those with reputations.

One possibility would be to make Shane Watson (you read it here first) Coach and give him the ability to pick his own players, so long as it doesn’t conflict with the Test Teams requirements.

Watson is Austrlia's most experienced T20 player and has experienced success in the format internationally. For all of the sniping about him being selfish and below-par as a Test player (he was merely the best in a very poor team for a while, then average in a good team), he is a smart cricketer who players seem to listen and respond to.

The other alternative, of course, is simply to get a Virat Kohli. 

Kohli is an interesting difference, not least because he speaks sign language.

In a 20 over game, it doesn't really matter how many wickets you take if your main batsman doesn't go out and hits 8 runs an over, consistently.

The last 2 Ashes series have been decided because the 2 best players from either team (Starc, Smith) were better or worse than the 2 best players from the other team (Broad, Root).

It seems T20 has just moved this equation back to 1, and an imposing 1 if the 1 is Kohli.  Which it is and seemingly always will be.

Maybe they should stop calling it T20 and just call it Kohli cricket?

 

Sign of the Times: Myki is getting saucy