St Ashley, who drove the Bono's from Ireland

Lesson of the Day

When making a cup of coffee at work in a cup usually used for ginger tea, make sure you wash the cup first.

Question of the Day

Why does it take an animal to bring out a persons human side?

Top 5: Gifts from Mad Max 2 to World Cinema

Taking a break from studying about environmental ruin, I thought I'd watch Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior for a little post-apocalyptic pick-me-up.

While watching, I couldn't help but notice all of the references the film had from earlier movies; particularly the Spaghetti Westerns. To begin with, Mad Max 2 has a good (Max), bad (hockey-masked dude), and ugly (the gyro-copter captain) characters. Give it a look and you'll see many more.

Incidentally, the hockey mask has certainly done wonders to assist audience goers identify bad guys.

Bad Guy

Back to Mad Max 2 though; I noted that the film came out in 1981, meaning that many of the characters and themes were also new for the time. And so in the spirit of promoting Australian film, here are my top 5 gifts that Mad Max 2 gave to cinema.

5. Fuel-tank car chase
Movies such as Breakdown, Licence to Kill and Fast and the Furious (at least one of them) have thrilled audiences with scenes of goodies driving away from baddies in a much bigger vehicle that could possibly explode. Awesome.

4. Cookie


OK, not really a gift to world cinema, but I struggled to come up with 5 for this list and you can't help but appreciate Sid Heylan (that loveable rogue!) in any guise.

3 - Masked leader with mysterious burns on the back of his head.

Back of head not shown. Certainly not on Karaoke night.

Nothing makes you wonder more about the chief bad guy than some mysterious burns, as can be witnessed by the drawing power of Darth Vadar. Audiences eventually found out that he got messed up by Obi Wan, but it wasn't until Ewan McGregor dumped Hayden Christiansen in some magma that we saw how. Even then most weren't convinced it wasn't due to Haydens acting.

2. Skinny, weird character who may be good.
A whole fleet of youngsters are currently growing up learning that Pirates are really bad, though not always, thanks to the likes of a possibly drunk Captain Sparrow and Miranda Kerrs boyfriend, who seems to come from the same acting school as ol' Hayden.

But where did this all start, well the crazy gyrocopter pilot mentioned earlier (Bruce Spence) has a more than striking resemblance to the skinny pirate from Pirates of the Thingimy.

1. Mad Mel
It started with him driving cars, then went to driving Danny Glover to retirement (despite being too old for this....). Hollywood producers must have seen something of Mels character in the film and thought; "there's a range of films we can base around this guy, and NOTHING WILL EVER GO WRONG".

Signs your paperboy is on 'roids

Signs GM is getting out of control

Frightening Welcome

I'm not sure which part of this "welcome" is more scary - the featureless android at the front of the poster, or the blurred out mystery man in the background. Good to see Estate Agents haven't lost their famous sense of humour.

What is bigger than 'Biggest'?

Melbournes tough sell of the day

Quality - the cost of expansion

Without wanting this to become a sports-dominated blog, here I go again.

The Australian Football League (AFL) is expanding its 16 team competition in 2011 to 17 teams, and then adding an 18th in 2012. This decision has not been met favourably in many places, and you really hope that the powers that be have invested in a quality crystal ball.

These new teams are going to have an obvious impact on the league, as well as sports in Australia in general. The introduction of the 17th team on the Gold Coast is a risky move, but as the popularity of the team in Brisbane has shown (membership of 26,000 and able to pull crowds of 40,000 - much better than most rugby league teams), the introduction of a team in Queensland may not be a lost cause.

The Gold Coast team have also brought in the left-field choice of Karmichael Hunt (who will be the first commentator to 'slip' on his name?), which is reminiscent of the early Sydney Swans stunts such as the Swanettes and Warwick Cappers' shorts.


The 18th team, to be based in Western Sydney and rumoured to be nicknamed 'The Scrubbers' are a more puzzling choice. The league informs us that this is one of the fastest growing areas in Australia and needs an AFL presence for the sport to survive and grow. Really?

Many AFL fans feel more than a little jaded by this, not least because the majority of teams grew organically from their suburbs, giving fans a sense of connection to the team and their community. The franchise system goes against this spirit and takes a chink out of the integrity of the competition.

Tasmania is crying out to have a team in the elite competition and has 40,000 fans ready to turn up at a game every other week. Further, brewers Castlemaine and Boags would have a bidding war to get their name on the jumpers, meaning that there would be people turning up to games and the club would have some cash coming in. Can the Scrubbers make this claim?


Another up-shot of this expansion is that the new teams will get every draft pick available for the next two years, reducing the number of young & quality players available. While this will mean that players that are currently in the 28-year-old bracket will stand a better chance of being picked up by another team, desperate for players of AFL standard, will it mean a better spectacle for fans? Probably not, which also works against the leagues plan to win over potential Scrubber supporters.

Thought of the Day: Solution to Australia's racist tag? Nannes the man

Another update from www.danichols.com:

Moving back to Australia has been an interesting experience, not least for re-discovering my country and culture, as well as discovering the changes that have occurred. One of the greatest changes I noticed on my return to Melbourne was the increase in ethnic diversity, or more specifically, the rise in the number of Indians, Asians and Kiwis.

Not those Indians or Kiwis...

I’m not saying this is a bad thing at all. I love a curry, I love Chinese food and Kiwis make a darned good coffee. The last comment may sound degrading but its true, and besides; Starbucks seems to be the only place you can seem to buy coffee off someone who isnt a Kiwi, and lord knows any self-respecting Victorian would’t go to Starbucks.

Kiwi’s are also great for Australia, as they seem to hate the place and keep everyone on their toes. Theres nothing like a bit of criticism to help with self-evaluation, or so it would seem.

The recent attacks against Australia, and particularly Melbourne, have been pretty strong and hard for a lot of people to take. Surely we couldn’t be living in a racist city? Not Melbourne; The worlds most liveable city? One could easily dismiss the ‘chk chk boom’ girl‘ as a Sydney slapper who was off her head, after all, Sydney does not have the racial integration as much as Melbourne does. Witness the Cronulla riots, or even Alan Jones. Indeed, Sydney is more like London, with pockets of demographics, without any real mixing or learning.

Melbourne, on the other hand, prides itself on its long multicultural history and peaceful integration. Witness the Multicultural Museum, Lygon St, Chinatown, Russel St, Victoria St (Richmond) etc. While these are all strong ethnic communities, they are all well integrated and there is no hint of segregation.

Until now, perhaps. Sol Turjillo, the former head of Australias largest Telco, labelled Australia as ‘backward’ and ‘racist’ upon leaving the country and the company. Backwards I can understand, with many Australian industries still operating as if competition doesnt exist and the country yet to ditch production for R&D, despite the ridiculous operating costs compared with Asia and the high-quality education facilities available. Racist though? Well, if you call his representation in the press as a Mexican bandit as racist, then yes, I suppose it is. Action like that in America would be unimaginable, and as one American friend of mine said about the affair: “Australia needs a civil rights movement”.

Australias representation of Sol

Carrying on from the racist cries have been those of Indian students based in Melbourne who have been, or feel they are being targetted for assault. With the Victorian Police Commissioner confirming that assaults against Indian students are up over 30%, you would say you had a problem, but perhaps the problem is that assaults are up over 30% and nothing is being done. Indeed, trying to camoflage this as an ‘Indian’ issue seems to reduce the seriousness of it. After all, Indians are pretty loud anyway; no-one is going to be too surprised if they start burning effigies and throwing stones; or so seems the Australian response.

So apart from some actual Policing, what can be done to show the world that Australia (and more importantly, Victoria) is not a Racist haven and that we are all potential victims?

To me, the answer lies in a man with a very colourful wardrobe. Dirk Nannes not only sounds like an international man of action, he is one. Being a member of an already rare species (of left arm fast bowlers, and he sure is fast), Dirk is from Melbourne but plays for Victoria, Delhi and the Netherlands in cricket competition. Can you be a better representation of multicultural harmony, with a striking name?

And he even looks good in pink

Further, he studied the saxophone at University (and here I was tinkering with software!), has an awesome beard, speaks Japanese (as you do) and competes at skiing at an international level. Everyone loves a polymath; witness the Flashman, Leonardo da Vinci, Isaac Newton, MacGyver and Mechelle de Craenne, but most of those are dead or fictional. Or both. But not Dirk, no ma’am.

Dirk is, in fact, so alive and inspirational that he helped guide the Dutch cricket team to a win over England, the hated sporting opposition of Australia, India and New Zealand. In a sporting context, the Dutch beating England at cricket is a little like Australia defeating Brazil at Soccer, or Malaysia defeating the USA at Basketball.

So who better to lead us? If not out of common hatred for the people from the lower part of that Island with bad teeth, then out of sheer inspiration as a modern marvel. It’s time to step up, Dirk.

Thought of the Day: The price of success

Another post from www.danichols.com:

The Victorian Bushrangers recently won the Sheffield Shield, the prize for the best state-based team in Australian cricket. The Sheffield Shield is one of the oldest sporting competitions in the world and something that I grew up following with more than a passing interest, giving it the same attention you do to your second-team in other sports.

Being Victorian, I was always going to have some interest in our colonies team, but I was further drawn to the team because they were (generally) so very, very bad.

A Sunday morning in summer could easily be spent in front of the TV, watching the Vics getting smashed by every other state (even Tasmania) in front of seven blokes and a dog at the ‘G. Our players seemed so mediocre that you really felt for them, and even harboured thoughts of taking their place.

Then tragedy struck, we won the Shield in 1991. It was incredible. Our starting XI of misfits and larrikans with questionable skill but great mo’s pulled togethor a brilliant season to bring the Shield ‘home’. And here (courtesy of someone else) they are:

The victorious Victorians circa 1991

This wasn’t to last, obviously. Our captain, Simon O’Donnel, was never sure if he wanted to be a borderline cricketer or footballer and became neither. Darren Lehmann went back to Adelaide. Damien Fleming and Paul Reiffel developed into proper bowlers and were whisked off to the National team. etc.

Still, they were our team, and knock-about blokes to boot.

Lately though, something changed. The Vics (I’m reticent to use the marketeers “Bushrangers”, as much as I like the name) have poached brilliantly from the other states (read: D Hussey, C Rogers, D Wright etc) and developed some good young state players of their own (read: C White, D Nannes etc). This has resulted in success in all three state-competitions, and winning the Sheffield Shield final.

Colour? What, What?!

But at what price? Barely a moustache to be seen and other those caps, tinted hair. Indeed, the best representatives of Victorians were no-where near the Junction oval for the final, the three best players (two of which are rangers and the other a pretty ordinary spinner) were off on national duty and we still won. Do I feel proud? Yes. Do I feel an affinity with the team? Probably no.

Thought of the Day: Singing at the soccer

Heres an old post from www.danichols.com:

Melbourne Victory recently won the final of the Australian A-League in a fiery encounter with the Adelaide something-or-others, much to the delight of the Victory’s fans. This is all quite novel for me as the Victory and the A-League were started in the time that I was away from Australia, so to see ‘diehard’ fans spring-up in 6 years is quite baffling.

More baffling still is the penchant for Victory fans to sing during games, and more so, brag about their singing. The soccer-supporting nation I left was not one of chanting and witty puns, but one that watched the game and only became vocal when they thought an unjustice was done (which was often).

Ive spoken to some other Victory and soccer supporters here and their responses have been mixed. Some believe that singing is part of ‘football’, while others follow my line of thinking in that the fans seem to be emulating the culture of the English mob; which is a very odd group to take social etiquette queues from.

No mistake, the English Premier League have done wonderously well in exporting their game and developing allegiances from all over the world. I heard a while ago that after “hello” and “goodbye” that “david beckham” were the most understood English words in China. This is magnified when you consider that the level of competition within the EPl is so unequal, meaning your team isnt going to achieve much until a billionaire from overseas comes along.

So why adopt this way of life? What is the appeal? Melbourne fans may brag that they are the loudest and sing the most, but does that make them the biggest fans or the biggest wankers?

Sport in Australia is a very serious business. People are passionate about it, watch it, participate in it and talk about it. When they go to watch it, they care. As ‘laid-back’ as Australians are, they can sit through a 5-day Test match with concentration and comment on the over that changed a session that changed a test. In the words of a Melbourne band: “This Is Serious, Mum”.

There is a certain harbour city to the north of Melbourne, which shall remain nameless (hint: it has an opera house), that is associated with having fickle sporting fans and a populos more concerned with appearance than substance and where this sort of behaviour would seem more acceptable, but not Melbourne.

With the possibility of a new A-League team being launched in Melbourne that is also looking to differentiate itself from the Victory, I think that looking at Melbournes deep sporting history and creating something with substance would be a great start.

Amen.

Signs of Melbourne part III

It's bloody hot.

Question of the Day: Whats the score?

While walking through town with my fiancee the other day, we passed a pub which I popped into just to check the score of a cricket match. Why? I really wasn't that interested in the game, and knowing the score would in no-way influence anything I was doing; so why did I do it?

Is checking the score the male equivalent of window shopping? Or is it not really about checking the score, but actually watching perhaps 5 seconds of sport? Further still, perhaps it is used for some sub-conscious, competitive advantage where knowing the score perhaps makes one look better than others?

Then again, maybe I was just seeing how the game was progressing.

Signs of Melbourne

Another example of technology and nature working harmoniously here in the Garden State:

Top 5: Farming songs

As I'm looking to get my old 'tree change' underway, I was thinking that a soudtrack would be needed, so here we go:
5) Green Green Grass of home, Elvis Presley
The king at his almost best. Lots of crooning and...actually, this could be almost any Elvis song. I suppose it gives little room for saying "I don't like THIS song".
4) Down on the farm, Guns 'n Roses
Healthy mixture of filthy AC/DC inspired lyrics and a degenerate view of country life.
3) Wynona's Big Brown Beaver, Primus
Primus combined an excellent baseline with some good ol' boy c&w. One of the best music videos ever, not that it will do me much good in the fields.
2) My rifle, my pony and me
I like everything about this song. It has an odd contribution from a wino, a whistling solo, Ricky Nelson and Dean Martin (as another wino), and it infers that all a man needs is a pony and a rifle (obviously to ensure that the pony complies with keeping life sweet).
1) Foggy Mountain Breakdown, Earl Scruggs
Nothin' like a bit of banjo to get you going in the morning. Earl Scruggs; legend.