Save the earth & play the trumpet

I recently read that one of the reasons that MacDonalds became so popular initially was that they had a set menu which punters had to order off, removing the need for choice and speeding the whole process up.

This seems to fit in quite nicely with the capitalist model, following on from other famous mass-produced items such as the Model T Ford which Mr Ford advertised with the line "you can have any color, so long as it's black".

I was considering this the other day when I read about the new air-powered car being produced for the Indian market. What a brilliant idea, in a country where the roads are only differentiated from the land by the difference in dwellings based on them there is very little need for the ability to go from 0 to 100Kph in less than 5 seconds.

Similarly, there is little room for leg room with a billion other people surrounding you.

This also assists in providing an environmentally-friendly solution that will also assist economic growth in a fast developing country where environmental consideration ranks a fairly large last behind staying alive, eating and getting an education.

It does bring me back to my original point though, what if I want an air-powered engine in my current car? I live in a (mostly) developed country, why cant I have more choice? It is all about me!

Just think of the benefits of driving around while blowing into a little hose; you will get a work-out while driving, possibly improve your trumpet playing and it will certainly be a good way of shutting the kids up on long trips.

Top Blogs

After doing a quick search on 'travel blogs' and 'malta', I recently came across this gem:
http://www.travelblog.org/Europe/Malta/blog-232902.html

Possibly the best piece of prose I have come across in a long time.

My favourate line? 'I laughed from time to time'

Top 5 - Ridiculous Military Uniforms

It was recently brought to my attention that Goose-stepping (or 'Des Stechschritt' for those in the know) is still illegal in Germany. I always thought this march was a discard from The Ministry of Silly Walks (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqhlQfXUk7w) but apparently a lot of people feel it is still offensive or upsetting. Geniunely.

This made me think, was the Goose-step designed as such? And where did it come from? More importantly - why did it catch on so?


Well, it seems that the Des Stechschritt was dreamed up by the Prussians in the 19th century as a drilling march. I can see how marching is good for discipline and drilling out individual thought, but doing it with high kicks?

Apparently George Orwell was a little more impressed with it, likening the stamping motion to one that could be used to crush skulls and oppressive, though that being said, it could just as easily be used to crush grapes - or stretch the hamstrings.

Following my train of thought though, I started thinking about other ridiculous military customs that are supposed to intimidate or unite but are just rather silly, specifically; uniforms.

So here we go, my Top 5 Ridiculous Military Uniforms:
1) The Swiss Guard. Only by defending the Pope with Swiss Army knives could they be taken any less seriously (Quothe Robin Williams: "Some of you may not have opened Chardonnay under fire before").

2) The Greeks. Puffy Skirts. Say no more.

3) Beefeaters. They carry guns for a reason.
4) German Soldiers circa. WWI. Solely for the pointed helmets. Did they charge with their heads-down?
5) US Marines. Is in no-way reflective of what they do, their level of prestige etc. Wholly inappropriate.

Thoughts?

Lesson of the Day

If you need to inadvertently acquire more brown-paper bags than you know what to do with, simply follow these steps:
1) Visit your local coffee shop (that sells pastries that can be taken away in brown-paper bags);
2) Wait until your barista is busy and you arent paying attention;
3) Attempt to tear away 1 (one) bag but grab an obscene amount in the process;
4) Look at the booty of paper in your hand in shock;
5) Panic;
6) Stuff the bags into your satchel/trousers/pockets while the barista isnt looking;
7) Take and pay for your coffee;
8) Smile and leave the shop with a rustle

Overrated Countries - Updated

Some of you may recall my post last year in which I hypthesised about overrated countries, that is, countries that had large reputations for small results.

Well, it seems the rest of the world has caught up with me through the guise of the New York Times and the New Economist:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/13/world/europe/13italy.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

http://neweconomist.blogs.com/new_economist/2006/12/poor_italy.html

It seems that for all of Italy's romance, very little actually gets made (apart from Pizza's) and the famous (and often hilarious or violent) politicking goes on. Whats more, the economy is slowing and they are starting to experience a 'brain drain' - interesting for a country that is so arrogant and sure of itself (actually sounds a little familliar).

There is no question of Italy being a beautiful country with rich food and a richer history, but what of its future? A sorry thing to be cast down by a soothsayer of my powers.

Gillette - almost the best a man can get

Its a risky game advertising & sponsorship. Think of the money that companies have poured into putting their name to someone else's face, just to have the face become less appealling.

It can, occassionally, work surprisingly well; I refer to the famous sponsorship of the Melbourne Demons in 2000 by Melbourne Water, a year in which the (mighty) Demons inexplicably made it to the Grand Final and their forward-pocket Jeff 'the Wizard' Farmer was featured in one commercial saying that 'saving water isnt just good for the farmers'.

An advertising triumph.

I only mention this as I recently noticed Gillettes new campaign featuring Thierry Henry, Roger Federer and Tiger Woods.

While the Tiger is still going along fairly well, Federer has just lost the Australian Open and Henry is hanging around on the wing in Barcelona, getting about as popular as the fat kid at school when any sports teams are picked (apart from maybe the sport of eating donuts off a string with your hands tied behind your back - which is absolute genius).

Gillette do seem to have a history of these things, their sponsorship of David Beckham came shortly before he; got kicked out of Manchester United, became familiar with the Real Madrid bench, was stripped of the English captaincy, moved to the might of the US Premier League and finally get dropped from the English squad.

Beware sportspeople, Gillettes pieces of eight are most certainly tainted.

As the old saying goes; Its better to go with the donuts than a grooming-induced fall from grace.

Lesson of the day

Im running behind here, so here's a couple that may help you out:
1) If you have been eating a sugar-coated Jam donut on your kitchen table, the same one that you occasionally burn candles in wine bottles on, always check twice before you put something that looks like the sugar off a sugar-coated donut in your mouth. It may be wax, which is nothing like the sugar off a sugar-coated donut.
2) Coffee is a lot more enjoyable when it is poured down your throat, rather than your shirt. It will also save you money on dry cleaning.

Amen